Adoption books to the teacher.

In about 30 minutes we’ll be pulling up at Cayden’s school for MEET THE TEACHER NIGHT.  I am oh so excited and nervous about meeting the woman or man that will be an influencer in my child’s life for the next 9 months.  I’m wondering if it is too early to bring them a gift?  Is it too early to bombard them with questions?  Is it too early to tell them I’ve been praying for them specifically for months now?

As a mom to children through birth and through adoption we want to be a helper to our kids teachers in talking about adoption.  It won’t be long until Cayden comes home telling us that one of his friends says that one of his brothers or sister isn’t his REAL brother or sister b/c they don’t look like him.  That makes my heart hurt just thinking about it.

I had a grand idea a long time ago that I could give my kids teachers a gift on the first day of school each year.  I thought about something cute for themselves, but then also a few books for their classroom.  Specifically books about adoption.  I could pick out some of my kids favorite books and give them to the teacher as a way to tell them that we’re in this together and I want to help out with adoption talk whenever I can.

Is this dumb?  Would I be intruding on his/her “teacher space”?  Teachers out there let me know your thoughts!


13 responses to “Adoption books to the teacher.

  1. watchingthewaters

    Jamie, Don’t assume! Lots of dumb and offensive things will happen when your kids come home, but not necessarily *this* particular dumb and offensive thing. My kids haven’t ever had anyone tell them that their brother or sister isn’t their “real” brother or sister… and we’ve lived in some pretty white places. We find that the more that we act like we’re just another normal family (aren’t we?), the more people treat us like one.

    WE think we’re pretty remarkable. We think ALL adoptive families are pretty remarkable. But when it comes to “fitting in”… I want to be treated just like everyone else. We just happened to come by our kids in a different manner, that’s all.

  2. Talk to the teachers. Offer a book if you wish.

  3. How exciting that Cayden is starting school! DO tell his teacher you’ve been praying for her– I’ve had that happen a couple times, and it gives you confidence and peace knowing that the Lord is hearing about your class. I know that I pray over the students He gives me, their homes, and their future; to know someone is praying for me and the kiddos provides comfort.
    Gifts will never be turned down! ;oP Just don’t feel like you HAVE to, because being entrusted with children is THE best gift of all. She’s probably expecting some questions, but a lot of them may be answered at an Open House, if his school has one. I know our principal said not to really get involved in answering questions because there are SO many parents and kids to talk to.
    As far as kids noticing that Cayden’s skin doesn’t match his siblings, I really don’t think it will be a big deal at his age. Yes, they notice the difference in skin tones, but they haven’t really gotten the concept of “another race.” They tend to think of it as one person being tanner than another, and generally don’t focus on it. (At my school, where three children in the same family may have three different fathers, it’s even pretty common.) If you notice there’s a problem with those kinds of comments, I might schedule a parent-teacher conference and explain your concerns, then offer to come to the class to talk to the kids. It’s a BIG deal when parents come to read, so maybe you could read an adoption book and then offer to answer any questions the other students might have.
    Hope this doesn’t sound bossy/intrusive, just wanted to offer a teacher’s view point! Good luck with the first day of school– I’m sure he’ll LOVE it! :o)

  4. Absolutely offer up a book or too and definitely chat with the teacher about adoption. Teachers love kids, believe me they aren’t in it for the money or for the fame they just love kids. My husband is a teacher and a thoughtful gift such as the one you suggested definitely would be appreciated.

  5. I think its a great idea. People often “wonder” about families of ALL types, this will open a dialogue to let the teacher know what age appropriate information is ok for their students. Helping the other students understand how normal your family is! As an adoptive mom of one and three more in less then two weeks I always have people interested in our story. Just my thoughts! God bless!

  6. Jamie……I love your heart in wanting to minister to the teacher, through teaching him/her about adoption. It is NOT dumb at all!! You are giving from your heart, and that is a beautiful thing! God is going to use you in the life of the teacher and the lives of the children in the classroom. I’m excited to hear stories about how that happens. You go girl!!!!

  7. I agree with all of the above and they all said it much more eloquently then I could have. I will be praying that God opens pathways between you and the teacher so that when you tell him/her that you’ve been praying for them that that will excite them. As a Christian I would LOVE that but I could also see where as a non-Christian that may be odd. However, that doesn’t mean you should stifle who you are or what you want to say. I’m sure the teacher will appreciate it even if they don’t hold the same beliefs. I’m definitely praying for you (and Cayden) as he prepares for school on Monday 🙂

  8. I wish Cayden was in MY room and YOU were MY room mom! Do you mind transfering schools when he gets to 3rd grade! 🙂 I am praying for his first day and for you as well! Are you going to be that Mom that peeks through the door as tears flow down 🙂 hehehe! Love yall tons! by the way- love the book idea….love love the idea of you coming and talking to the class and reading a story if questions do pop up- but to be honest….i dont think they will! Not this day in age! Kids are very accepting!!!!

  9. As I teacher, I always love to hear from parents that they have been praying for me. It is such a great reminder that my job is so much bigger than me just teaching a classroom of students. It is truly a ministry. And how wonderful when I get to be a part of a co-ministry with the parents. I love it! And I say the gift is a great idea. Teachers love gifts! And we always love books, especially ones that hold meaning. Great idea!

  10. I had three adopted kids in my class last year and I would have loved to have some books on adoption so that all the kids in the class could understand and celebrate these wonderful families! I think it’s a great idea!

  11. As a teacher, it’s always great to get those thoughtful words and gifts. As others have said, kids that age don’t really notice as many of the differences. They truly are very accepting! I like the idea of you going to read to the class & choosing one of the books about adoption. I hope the first day is great!!!
    *just a suggestion- schedule a conference with the teacher to talk about specific matters; it can be overwhelming when EVERY parent wants to tell you their special situations. As a teacher, I really do want to know those things…just not all at once & not when I have a classroom full of children waiting for me 🙂

  12. I homeschool the kids now, but in the early years, my first kid went to preschool. One of the preschool kids said to him one day during pick up time “Is that your mom?” and my 4 year old said, “yep.” The little girl says…”That’s weird…she doesn’t LOOK like your mom…” and my child replied with a know it all tone, “Uh..yeah she does..she looks exactly like my mom…cause she IS.” HAHAHA He had no idea she meant we didn’t “match”. The book idea sounds fabulous. As a teacher, I would have loved such a thing!

    Praying your kids home right along with you…have a few from HAiti myself, so I understand the painful wait.

  13. I know this is several days “late”, but I came across some information that reminded me of you and your questions about integrating adoption into Cayden’s classroom. I found it here:

    hope it gives you some ideas and encouragement.

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