I think a lot about what our future holds for us and our family. Not in big family plans, but in conversations that will happen at our house. When situations come up I often find myself thinking about how in future years my kids will notice more and ask more and want to know more.
For example, today I got the kids all set up for “rest time” with the movie Annie. I was so excited and decided to lay with them and watch a little bit of it. Things I probably never noticed before were like light bulbs flashing before me as I watched a little bit with them.
Cayden asked why all those girls live together and where are their parents. He couldn’t comprehend how they couldn’t have parents. I told them that maybe they died, or maybe they didn’t wa _ _ – I couldn’t finish the sentence. I was about to say maybe their parents didn’t want them.
I couldn’t say it. Even though that could be the hard cold truth, I can’t bring myself to say it. I will never tell any of my kids that their parents didn’t want them. That would hurt to the core for a young child. I will tell them they couldn’t take care of them, or they weren’t ready to be a mommy, or they wanted me to be their mommy. Anything but the “not wanting you” thing. I can’t do it.
We have always been told to use age appropriate information when talking to your kids about their birth parents, adoption, etc. Age appropriate information is very easy when talking to a 3 year old. It’s when they are 15 that the age appropriate talk freaks me out. They will want to know it all. All the facts.
I often wonder if our kids will ever regret us adopting them. I know it’s a weird thought, but I would bet money I’m not the only mom that has children through adoption that thinks this.
I am big believer in the power of God’s plan. I have no doubt that before time God knew that all my kids would be Ivey’s. He is just God. He knows. He is all knowing. He is sovereign and in control. I pray that God will always give us parents the words to say to hard questions. I pray and hope that we don’t back down from them, but answer them with confidence and love. I pray that my children will fall madly in love with their heavenly Father and will never doubt his love for them even though they don’t know anything about their earthly biological father.
I am so madly in love with all four of my kids. I pray for guidance when talking to them about the ugly things of this world.