where are we sending our son to school …..

There have been two things in our marriage that we have both been on VERY different pages about and the LORD has led us to one decision. It is only God that can bring two stubborn headed people that want different things to agree on one thing. It is amazing to look back and see HIS hand on our marriage, life and decisions that we make.

Last year we started talking more seriously about school for Cayden when he goes to kindergarten. What would we do? I had always been open to home schooling for a few years, but then the thought of being responsible for teaching someone to read gave me a stomach ache. Also the thought of teaching one child while having three others run around sounded blah to me too. I had also been open to private school for a few years to get a good solid education under our belt before we headed out to “the real world” into public school. I was never open to public school for my five year old. N.E.V.E.R

Aaron was mildly open to home schooling. Not really, but also not 100% against. He was 110% against private and 100% for public. Do you see where we were in disagreement.

I said I would never send my five year old to public school and he says I will never send a kid of mine to private school.

We did not agree.

We discussed.

Still not agree.

I took him to THREE orientations for private schools.


No agreeing.

Then I began to pray and beg God to change my husband’s heart. I mean seriously, how could I send my sweet five year old to public school.

I feared a teacher would be mean to him. I feared kids would laugh at him. I feared he would fall between the cracks. I feared he would get beat up by a very mean 5th grader. I feared there would be no Christian teachers around my son. I feared that he would never learn his multiplication tables b/c there would be 55 kids in one class.

I feared LOTS. I tend to do that.

I still prayed for Aaron’s heart to change.

We talked about it again. I pulled up more websites to look at.


Then I prayed that God would change one of our hearts. Maybe even mine. Probably not, but maybe.

He did just that. I started hearing what Aaron was saying. I started seeing his points. I started looking at school for our kids from a different angle. I started to remember what our family’s mission in life is. I started to remember the things we want to teach our kids.

I’ll never forget the day it all changed for me. I was running and I ran past the school in our neighborhood where Cayden would go and I stopped and looked around. It was empty. I was in the car pool lane just standing there looking at the school.

It was as if God spoke to me and told me that HE would indeed watch out for Cayden. That he has a big plan for his life. That this is where he wanted him and ME for his first year of schooling. He made me realize that sending my son to school is not sending him away, but yet expanding our family ministry. I promised God something that day. I promised that I would be involved in his school. I would be involved with his teachers. I would do PTO. I would do lunch duty. I would do homework. I would volunteer. I would know the principal and the principal will know me. I made that vow that day.

I cried that day in the empty parking lot and asked God to protect my son, and to protect me. To guide us through the school year. To show us the needs he wanted us to meet in that school. To show us the teachers he wanted me to minister to.

So there you go. Next year Cayden will head to our local public school in our neighborhood. We are so excited about this. I feel 100% peace about this where as this time last year I was a wreck about this choice!


16 responses to “where are we sending our son to school …..

  1. jamie, as a public school teacher, i want to let you know that there are wonderful, loving teachers in the public schools! i know they get a bad rap, but i work with some amazing people that are also incredible educators. i hope that’s encouraging!
    volunteering & being involved is the BEST thing you can do!!! the teachers will love you for that!

  2. I think Cayden will do well wherever he is! We had great Kindergarten experiences with J and Maci. Jared’s 1st grade year was amazing! You have to remember that you can always re-evaluate each year also! We have done public, home, and private school! We’ve had good experiences with all of them! Some not so great, with all of them! Each child is totally different as is each family. I don’t think God leads each family to the same thing EVER. Maci is trying to decide STILL between LCA and homeschooling. Last night we through in public school again! AAHHH!! I’m ready to get it settled!
    I’m excited for Cayden this year! I think he will LOVE it!

  3. aww!! I totally cried reading this!! I love it.

  4. I totally empathize with this. When we moved to St. Johns I had to wrestle a bit with putting the boys into public school here. It came down to God showing me 2 things: 1)He loves my boys more than I ever could and His plans for them are good and 2)gotta keep the “little lights” in public school too

    Can’t wait to see how God uses both you and Cayden πŸ™‚

  5. Jamie, I too cried when I read this. My baby is only three, yet I am already worrying about this constantly. I pray about it all the time. Thank you again for sharing your mommy experiences. It helps me to realize that I am not the only one out there struggling with what seems like it would be an easy answer. Brooke will be starting a PDO preschool setting in September, and yes I already have pits in my stomach because of it……

  6. Um, so…I don’t really know you, but linked to you from jen delgado’s blog simply b/c of your post title. I’m so proud of you! It IS a hard decision that we just made as well. My daughter goes to K this fall as well as a very young five (b-day is in August). ANYWAY, I’d like to strongly suggest a book to you. It’s called Going Public by David and Kelly Pritchard. God is just as present in public school and He can make it an awesome experience (at least that’s what I’m praying, too!!)

  7. thank you for being authentic about your struggle. this is such a hard decision for many parents…thank you for being real and showing how God is faithful to pull us through hard decisions. i look forward to hearing how God is glorified through your family this school year.

  8. i can’t believe cayden is old enough to start school!!! geez. i’m so glad you found peace in your decision and i know cayden will do awesome there! and of course, i have no doubt you will be the best room mother that school ever had! πŸ™‚

  9. Cayden is gonna ROCK school this year! πŸ™‚

  10. nancymattingly

    I remember when Cayden had a sippy cup at camp – or was it a bottle?!! Oh, my goodness!!! Jamie – what a beautiful post, with such heart. You are a godly mom, dear friend! did you know I used to (way back in the day!) teach kindergarten, in public school? My children did well attending, as well. It is indeed a mission field, and you are wise to already be planning your involvement. I know it will be a great year for all of you! praying for you – so much. love.

  11. Yes, that is a hard choice. We have already agreed on public school for our kids. I lived in Germany for 19 years and went to the German public schools…my faith was strong…I had to fight for my faith…I have never been through a harder time spiritually, than when I went to a small Baptist College…private/christian schools do not shape a child as much as family does. I am so happy you have found peace about it πŸ™‚

  12. What a hard choice! I commend you for praying and continuing to consult both hubby and God.

    hmmm… can you teach me how to pray AND wait/listen?? πŸ˜€

  13. Public school is good for children.They get to be around alot of different children.My kids school is great.They do have some special need kids that get to spend some time in their classrooms as well and I love this.I’ll never forget the day that I was going to read to the class and went a little earlier and saw my youngest Noah holding this little boys hand who has down syndrome walking him down the hallway! That was amazing,when I asked him Noah said that he was afraid this little boy would get lost so he grabbed his hand and led him the right way…Precious!! You do have to stay involved 150% though,so try to go whatever you are allowed to do and keep up with his friends as well..I have voluteered forever and have seen several friends that I though maybe were appropriate for my boys to play with and then have changed my mind while being there at the school…That to me is the hardest.Some people (well ALOT) of people have totally different views on how to raise a child and we have came across that alot,and it does put pressure on the child and also on you because you want to maintain the same values your family has and maybe their friends families have no values so that is hard! We do alot of friend visits here!! Pray,Pray,Pray…you will be doing alot of that let me tell ya…But I do know about private schools too and have seen worse children come out of there then public!

  14. I understand your concerns for your son. I have been there many times myself. My oldest is 1 1and our youngest is still in preschool with two other kids in between. Private school really wasn’t on our radar because we knew we could never afford it. Since then I’ve found out that there are tons of scholarships etc. We also consider home schooling about every year. What I’ve learned over the years is that you really can’t say “I will never…” I’ve seen two friends do the exact opposite of what they said they would never do. Anyway, I wanted to encourage you that, although lots of people dispute this, public school can be a mission field. Lots of people say that kids are too young and vulnerable {and I don’t disagree} but if you pray, remain involved and know the students and teachers, it can be a great place for God to show up.

    Because of the connections my daughter has made, we have seen 2 families come to know Jesus. Not of mention the other teachers and kids that we’ve been able to minister to. My daughter is at church camp right now with a girl from her school who goes to church with us every Sunday. My sons teacher last year started coming to church with his girlfirend and just called yesterday to ask my husband about getting married at the church. Crazy things can happen! God is amazing and I know he will take care of your little one this year. I look forward to some amazing stories!

  15. I appreciate how you revealed your family’s struggle with this. My spouse and I are both public school teachers but Christians first and it is totally crushing to my spirit when other Christians act like public school is the scourge of Satan. God doesn’t desire for each family to look the same; He just wants each family to be obedient to Him. For some this is home schooling, for others private school, and yet others public school. I love your last post on this, talking about being a light in a dark place. I know there are a lot of people who feel that if you send your kids to public school, their faith will be constantly under attack. I am honestly not sure that’s true, especially at the elementary level. And the flip side of that is it’s a bit like Petra’s song, Why Should the Devil Have All the Good Music. If we as Christian families abandon public schools, I’m not sure where that leaves us. Public school staffs as well as public school students need Christian influences and worldviews. Thanks for sharing your thoughts as your family sought out what God wants for you at this moment in time.

  16. hi, you don’t know me, but i understand how you’re feeling about all of this. we’ve just moved to portland, or and are planning to send our three kids (one five and entering K) to our neighborhood public school. one moment i FREAK about it, the next i’m thrilled about being in the community.
    all of that to say, there is a great book that i’m reading called “Going Public” by david and kelli pritchard. it’s been VERY helpful in facing the fears and getting a positive perspective…
    i’m glad your school will have your family around!

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