Joy and Sorrow

One of the hardest things for me in our adoption process this time is feeling as though you are leaving some behind.  You see it is hard for me to truly rejoice sometimes and share those feelings because I know all of the families that I have met that are still not even moving.  Haitian adoptions are very unpredictable and there is usually no rhyme or reason to anything that happens.  It can take one couple one year to bring home their child and another family three years.  You just never know.

I have been that person on this side of the computer reading someones fabulous news that they were out of IBESR or out of MOI in 2 months.  I truly do rejoice for them, but always in the back of my mind I’m wondering, why them and not us.  It is this hard emotion to deal with.  It is not a fun emotion, because if you don’t check yourself you can become bitter and mad at the whole process, and we know that doesn’t help at all.

During out time in IBESR I had to check my emotions so many times.  I would be so happy for those getting out, but mad that it wasn’t us.  God had to do something in me to realize that it is pure joy and happiness when any child/family moves further in this process.  I truly did have a change of heart and can honestly say that now I am much better at this.  I rejoice at others advancement.  Pure rejoicing with no hidden agendas in my own heart.

All these emotions make it hard for me to shout from the rooftop on our blog when something good happens in our adoption.  I for sure send out a very excited email/text to my friends and family, but it’s hard for me to do that on here.  As I start to spread our news I think of our friends that have been in IBESR for 16 months, our friends in MOI for 6 months, our friends not even in IBESR yet.  My heart is heavy for them and it’s hard to “rub” my good news in their face.

But you see this time my joyful news also has sorrow alongside it.  Saturday morning I woke up to an email I’ve been waiting to get for a long time.  STORY IS OUT OF MOI.  Yes you read that right.  She is out.  BUT you see I am experiencing sorrow in the midst of this too.  Our sweet Amos is not out.  In fact I haven’t even heard that he is close.  I’ve been hearing Story was close since April.

So as we rejoice around here for out little girl our heart is always heavy for our little boy.  Of course we would love them to come home together, but we will go and get any child that is ready to come home.

Last night I drug Aaron to Target to look at baby girl stuff.  I bought her a dress and a shirt and skirt that were both 50% off.  I feel as though we’ve been doing this adoption process for so long and known about our daughter for 19 months, but her room is still not ready.  And of course I know that her room is not what is important, but I still want her to have a room when she comes home!  This momma to three boys is super excited to have her baby girl home!

I have read tons of peoples blogs and followed their time lines from MOI to home.  Some do it in a month, others two and some even three.  Who knows!  Next stage is passports, then medical exams then visa, then HOME!  Oh my word.  I can’t even begin to imagine my kids HOME with us!

May 25 2009 b 013

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26 responses to “Joy and Sorrow

  1. I totally understand how torn you feel. But at the same time want to wish you a HUGE congrats!! She’s coming home soon! 🙂 I have been following this story (no pun intended lol) for over a year now.. this puts a huge smile on my face 🙂

  2. Yahoo this is fabulous news!! Hopefully Amos’ file will follow soon. I know it’s hard to receive good news when you know of so many families and children who should also be together but enjoy your good news. While we were stuck in IBESR I seriously allowed myself to get into a bad place and when we finally received word that we were out I promised myself I would not go there again – and I didn’t. Hang in there, no matter what happens next your precious kids will be home!!! 🙂

  3. Congratulations! I have felt the same ways during our adoption. I tried to remember when we got to our good news stage that I had wanted so much to celebrate our friends’ good news (even though I felt that why not us stuff), so I kind of forced myself to put our news out there. It really is going to happen … have fun getting ready!!

  4. Rejoycing with you & continuing to pray daily for Amos to get out of MOI, too.

    I remind myself daily that God’s timing is perfect as we wait for our referral from Colombia.

  5. nancymattingly

    I continue to rejoice with you, as well as pray fervently for Amos to join Story in the forward progress. so soon, Lord, please! And I have so much respect for you guys, Jamie, and all others in your generation, called to do this hard thing of adoption, waiting, agonizing, only to wait some more. Oh, how the Lord favors those who unselfishly follow Him! May you know His peace through the rest of this process. love you so.
    n.

  6. I am SO happy for you all. I just want to lift you all up and pray even harder that Amos is out ASAP and that things move quickly from here on out for them to come home!!
    I know how hard it is to be joyful when others are waiting but seriously- you so desearve this joy! 🙂
    Yippppeeeeee!!!!
    (We are right behind you!)

  7. Praise the Lord! That’s such good news about Story! Maybe God has a good reason for why she needs to come home first. Praying for Amos!

  8. Pingback: Pray for the Fatherless on Father’s Day « Ethereal Thought Train

  9. i am in tears reading this. tears of happiness and tears of sadness. i am so excited that you are one step closer to bring your sweet girl home…but also heartbroken that amos isn’t.

    what a beautiful day it will be when those precious children are in your arms FOREVER!!

  10. Thanking God for the good news you received, and continuing to pray for precious Amos. In even this, God’s timing is perfect. Even when we can’t see it. It’s one of the hardest lessons I’ve had to learn, so my heart goes out to you. ((HUGS))
    dawn

  11. So happy for you about Story. So sad for you about Amos. Thank you for sharing your joy and sorrow. Your little girl is coming HOME!

  12. Focusing on the good news: CONGRATULATIONS to little Story. Amos will be out soon too, I hope.

    Happy Father’s Day to Aaron.

    Erin

  13. Amen! Amen! Amen! That is terrific news! Praying that God will put a Holy rush on Amos’s papers 🙂 Congratulations!

  14. So happy for you guys and yet feeling your sorrow too. Story is going to change you guys….girls are so great! Still praying Amos all the way home.

  15. When I read the words “Holy Rush” posted by Jen I got goose bumps all over me and really feel like “Yes, Holy Rush is right!” I know God’s timing is perfect.. But the Holy Spirit is all over me in those words so I think it will be sooner than later!! I’m excited for you!! I am praying for Amos!

  16. I was so happy to hear this guys! Great news….
    Praying you hear this same great news for Amos VERY soon!

  17. What a blessing to read your news this Monday morning in Oregon. I can’t even imagine the bittersweetness of it….but Gods timing is perfect and when that perfect time comes for Amos, the doors will fly open. Right now rejoice in how God has opened the door for that precious little girl. Wow…you get to experience a little girl. Let the fun times roll…sincerly! Dresses and dolls and tea party’s and best of all, abundant love! Nothing better.
    You still have MANY family, friends, blog stalkers (lol), praying for Amos. His time to come home is just around the corner!
    Blessings,

  18. Praise God! Praise God! Praise God! So excited and yet tearful for Amos.

    God is good and will bring them home!

  19. Our boys came out of MOI 3 weeks apart. I will continue to pray that both your kids are home very, very soon. Movement forward is a very good thing!!!!!

  20. I am so excited for you!! I will be praying that it will be that the rest of Story’s process will go quickly. I will also be praying for sweet Amos..I know this has to be so bittersweet. We just have to remember God’s timing is perfect for whatever reason. God Bless you.

  21. Jamie! YAY!!!!!! That is such good news!! Oh my word, you must be elated. I know it is so hard to still have Amos stuck, but maybe by the time you go to pick her up he will be out of MOI and you will at least know a general time frame. I know that will be tough.

    I’m so encouraged that things are moving in Haiti!

  22. Story, YAY!!!! And, Amos, gonna wait right with you as you are waiting!! It is Amos who truly has me coming back to your blog and Licia’s blog, time and again, it was your rejoicing in your little man, Amos, that sent me on over to Haiti Rescue Center’s site….the night I went to Licia’s site changed my heart forever, I went to bed thinking of ALL the suffering God must see, and yet, amidst that suffering, is Him….and Licia…and Lori…and Zach….and AMOS, then Story, and all the unknown faces…but, they are not unknown to God!! So, I will wait right here with you for Amos to come home to your family!!!
    Praying it is soon!!! But, gonna wait on God’s perfect timing for the entire family…

  23. Jamie,

    We’re so happy to hear that Story is out of MOI. We will keep praying for y’all to be able to bring Amos home soon as well.

    John & Sarah

  24. Congratulations! It didn’t take long to get our kids visas once they were out of MOI…

    There were times during our adoption process that I just had to quit reading my Yahoo group feeds. I was too emotionally fragile to hear of someone else’s adoption moving forward when ours had stalled. I became sullen when people who had started the process a year after us brought their children home before we did. But, in the end, our kids came home too. It seems that they have always been a part of our family.

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