I’m not alone in this struggle

It seems as though most of my blogging these days is about my life sucking. Sorry for the word choice mom, but seriously I could come up with much worse! 🙂 Each day I think I should blog and the only thing that comes to my mind is the fact that there’s a burning hole in my heart where my kids should be. There is a hole in our home. There is a hole in our plans and a constant hole when making vacation plans.

If you are in the adoption world you understand these thoughts way too well. It’s Friday and I’m once again wanting to desperately know if our files were signed out yesterday. Do I email? Do I wait? I don’t want to bother our lady there, but I want to know. I honestly want to know even if it’s a no b/c that way at least I’ll know.

Today I pulled up my bloglines and two moms that I have never met in person but have emailed and followed their journey through adoption had both blogged about their struggles with Haiti adoption. If you like reading about struggles, pains and desperate feelings from a mom I encourage you to go there. BUT when you go, be prepared. You won’t be happy when you leave, you will be mad and you will feel their pain …. especially if you are a mommy yourself.

Kristen and Stephanie both poured out their thoughts and feelings. Go read. Go encourage. Go and pray.

I often wonder what my blog will be like when the kids are home? Aaron has a song on his new cd that’s coming out June 23 (that’s a lame plug, i know!) that is about bringing our kids home from Haiti and it has a line that says this …. “throw the clocks away and run out to the street, we’ll fly to distant clouds where it’s just you and me. A day will come when all of this is gone, you’ve got to find a way to believe.”

Our day will come. Kristen’s day will come. Stephanie’s day will come. We have to find a way to believe.


May 25 2009 b 006

May 26 2009 b 045


3 responses to “I’m not alone in this struggle

  1. Me too. I got to your blog via Kristen’s. I’m with you. And I’m new/in the beginning stages. Nice to “meet” you.

  2. Thank you for asking people to pray for us, Jamie! I think I would go batty without all my blog friends in the process too.

    I think when your kids are home your blog will be full of lots of cute pictures!!

  3. I was just over at the Livesay’s blog, and there was a note at the bottom of a recent post that listed the people in a photo… It said “Amos and Story Ivey….”
    and although it was a simple thing, the thought that popped in my head is that, “yes, they ARE already your children…in your hearts, in their hearts, in God’s heart. ”
    The time WILL come, but the time is also already here. The love is already here. I’m praying for your family, and rejoicing over the fact that God knits his family together even before the members are “legally” related etc. But I sure hope the time is soooooon, for all of your sake!

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