My pilgrimage

Today I was in my office and I reached up on the shelf to get something down and all of a sudden things started falling on my head from the shelve. Thank goodness most of them were papers, but there was one thing that was a little larger and thankfully it wasn’t anything large, but it did get my attention as it hit me on the head! I picked it up and remembered where I had gotten this thing. My friend Nancy had given this to me last year for my birthday. It is a CD set of Beth Moore’s STEPPING UP bible study.

Since this hit me on the head I thought I should maybe listen to it today! Boy am I glad that I did. The first CD was incredible for me today. I heard it each time I was in the car today. As the boys and I were on our way home I started weeping.

Beth was talking about being on a “pilgrimage” to God. We read Psalm 84:5 “Blessed are those whose strength is in you, who have set their hearts on pilgrimage.” Then it goes on from 6-7 saying, “As they pass through the Valley of Baca, they make it a place of springs, the autumn rains also cover it with pools. They go from strength to strength till each appears before God in Zion.”

Blessed in verse five means to be happy. So it says ….. HAPPY is he whose heart is set on pilgrimage.

Then she talked about perspective. Changing our perspective. That whatever we’re going through is not where we’re staying; we’re not stuck in this place. She said our circumstances will be a whole lot happier if we’ll get it through our heads that where we are is not where we’re staying. How much happier would I be? This time is a flash of time in eternity.

As the tears flowed I thought of my circumstances where I am right now. I’m longing in my heart and soul for two of my children to be home. For me to be their mommy every day, not just a few times a year. In my heart I’m lonely for them. In my heart and soul there are pieces missing.

I thought about my pilgrimage and where I’m heading. I’m on a pilgrimage to get my kids and right now life is hard on this pilgrimage. BUT it is not the end. I will not be here forever. Eventually my kids will be here and this time of longing will be a faint memory. My life will move on. I long to be happy on this pilgrimage that God has me on. It is hard to be happy though when times are hard, BUT I want to be happy. I want this pilgrimage to be a happy and blessed time in my life.

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10 responses to “My pilgrimage

  1. nancymattingly

    🙂 sorry they hit you in the head, but blessed they ministered. love you so!

  2. Thanks for being so honest! I did that study last year, but without the audio CDs. I think I am missing out!

  3. Your words ministered to my soul today. Thank you.

  4. wow, girl … i still remember you sitting at my dining room table when I said “Jamie, I just don’t think I could do what you are doing” (talking about your pilgramage to S/A) and I recite your words over and over during a tough time … You said “Gwen, you would do it if you had to.” … God has called us to a lot of HAVE TOs … Please know I am always here for you and keep your family in my prayers …

    love ya

  5. i love you very much and am praying for your babies right now….

  6. I just finished this study (in a group, with the DVDs) but its been a while since I watched that first session. Thank you for the reminder. I needed that today.

  7. It completely floored me to read this here today because I’ve been reading that same Psalm, holding it, memorizing it, meditating on it. My translation reads “in whose heart are the highways to Zion.” I love the image of I35 in my heart headed to heaven–pilgrimage, yes. Remembering where we’re REALLY going, and not just where we are.

    Thanks for sharing. BTW, I love the image of it hitting you in the head–classic. Your children have been on my heart recently, and I’m praying that the Lord would sustain each of you in His time of waiting. May He guard your hearts and bring you together soon.

  8. love all your recipes and the links! I just made the rice and beans one you posted awhile back and it was a hit! keep em coming!

  9. thanks for your comments. I’m so glad to see you have finally come so far too. So did you get into IBESR a little before us? We got in 6/23/09 it looks like you did.
    Do you know how long visas are taking right now? strongquiver@gmail.com

  10. Jaim,
    I hope this is ok I’m sending you this info……
    I’ve been made aware of a sibling group of three that is in foster care on the West Coast. They are of Haitian descent and according to their SW AWESOME kids (really, truly) who truly want a permanent home.
    A bonus family would celebrate their Haitian heritage their SW says 🙂 So I asked her if I could let my “Haiti’ friends know to get the word out and she said YES.
    Here’s the link to their site:
    http://www.lanecountyheartgallery.org/cgi-bin/k9bytes.pl?command=showkid&kidid=00000
    Can you pass this info onto to anyone and everyone who you think might be interested???
    Thanks!
    Ericka

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