Some of the things that come along with being a family that adds children through adoption are stares and sometimes not so nice comments from complete strangers. It is pretty obvious when I’m out with the kids that one of them stands out. When we are out as a family it is even more obvious that one of them stands out. For myself I never even think about us looking different until someone stares or says something stupid to us.
A few days ago I was at Old Navy and there was a woman there that clearly thought she should be all up in my business. Let me first clarify that I do not mind talking about adoption. I love to educate people and encourage people. I also love to show the world how a family can be without any biological ties to each other. Although I didn’t birth three of my children they are all the same to me and I love them all the same. I also understand the curiosity that comes with our family looking different. When I see a family that looks “different” I too am curious. Does it mean I stare and ask stupid questions or say stupid things, no. In fact most of the time I say nothing, b/c it is clearly none of my business how their family came together.
Back to the woman at Old Navy. We were standing there in line and the boys were on the floor playing with some stuffed animals that were for sale in the line. I noticed the woman behind me looking at them with curiosity and didn’t think anything of it. She either was curious about their relationship to each other, or thought they were stinking cute, or thought they shouldn’t be on the floor playing with the toys. None of those reasons for her staring bothered me or caused me to think anything of it. Who cares, right?
This is how our conversation went down. Keep in mind her words were not in a loving way, they were in an accusation and looking-down-on-you type of tone.
Woman: Are both of these boys yours?
Me: Yes they are.
She then looked confused and kept staring at them with her eyes in a weird way and her mouth all pinched together.
Woman: Wow they should do look different.
Me: Yes they do.
More weird looks and pinched together mouth.
Woman: They must have different dads.
Me: (In shock of what I just heard in the check out line at Old Navy with my kids playing at my feet) Excuse me?
Woman: Well it’s pretty obvious that they have different dads.
After I pick my mouth off the floor and erase all the bad words from my heart ….
Me: Nope actually they have the same dad.
WHAT THE HECK? Did she seriously just say this to me in front of my kids and everyone else? She continued to check us out and try to figure us out.
I do not mind people asking about my kids. I don’t even mind them asking if Deacon is adopted. I just would like you to be nice about it, not with condemnation in your voice, and with a sincere heart. If you think I slept around and my kids have different dads it is none of your business even if I did.