biological children …

Someone asked me recently if we’ll have any more biological kids.  We actually get asked this question a lot.  I guess with one bio kid and 3 through adoption it is a wonder on many minds!  I don’t mind this question as long as you don’t say … “are you going to have any more kids of your own?” …. or “are you going to have any more real kids?” ….oh my word I hate those words REAL and OWN in terms of my children.  They are ALL MY OWN and they are ALL ALIVE AND REAL!

Okay off my soap box …. any more bio kids for the Ivey family?  If you ask both of us you’ll get two different answers.  From Aaron you’ll get a very confident and matter of the fact NO.  He is done with kids.  It is a miracle of God that we had two more after Deacon.  He was happy then and God changed his heart.  That’s a super cool story for another time!

If you ask me the same question you’ll get a different answer every day!  Some days I’m sure that we’re done.  Other days I would love to be pregnant one more time.  I would love to nurse a child one more time. I’d love to try to give birth naturally one time.  Other times I can’t think of birthing a child when there’s a child already born that needs a mommy.

Most days I’m totally content with my four kids.  Four is a good number.  Four kids playing sports is going to be expensive.  Four kids going to college year after year is going to be expensive.  These are all things that I normally do not think of, but Aaron always thinks of!

Yesterday I found out a friend of mine is pregnant.  I’m so happy for her.  But it was weird because I went to bed wishing that was me.  Wishing I had something like that to be excited about.  I think a lot of it has to do with wanting Amos and Story home so badly that sometimes I feel like I need something to keep me going.  Not sure why I think pregnancy and a baby will do that for me, but I’m just saying what I feel sometimes.  What’s sad is that by the time they get here I think I could have birthed two kids!

So to answer your question ….. We will not have any more biological kids unless God does a miracle on Aaron’s heart or if there is an act of God that can’t be stopped by human medicines!

I am completely content in my family.  I could go the rest of my life with these four kids and never feel as though we should have had one more.  I am also always open to more kids, however they would join us.  Does that make sense?


7 responses to “biological children …

  1. Perfect sense. I’m glad God has blessed you with “real” children…the ‘unreal’ (as in statues) children are just not as fun….though they are very quiet and virtually no cost to raise!
    I pray your kids will be home with you VERY soon!

  2. love you. love your heart!

    Ernest and I did not think we were going to have any more bio children. We had talked about adopting domestically after R is home. We have looked into that as well as foster care and both have to wait until our adoption is final. I don’t know that we won’t still do that. That is wild since we had just two for so long.

    You have been waiting a long time. I know the days seem to be growing longer. Each day is one day closer to them. I truly cannot wait until the moment we all bring our children home. It will happen. And we will all have peace.

  3. debra is right-each day is one step closer to them! and oh what an amazing time it will be when they arrive!

    (i predict more than 4, by the way…!)

  4. watchingthewaters

    You forgot braces. Having just paid for the first set, with kid #2 waiting (im)patiently in the wings for money to fall from the sky… I’m just saying.

    WildGirl and I were talking about babies the other day. About how they cry and you have to get up with them in the night and they can’t tell you what’s wrong and they go through a lot of diapers, etc… she said, it’s a good thing we don’t have any, they sound like a lot of work!

  5. Well, since we have 2 birth children and seven adopted……I really get annoyed when people will say to me……which ones are your ‘real’ kids????? Like the other ones are fake! geesh!….sometimes if I’m feeling especially snarky I’ll say…’well, they all are real’….then the person will say…’oh, well, um, well, you know what I mean’….I just give a confused look and let them stumble….ya, I know nasty!

  6. All I can say is never say never. I said NEVER again after Thomas came into our lives 10 years ago, and then wham we jumped back on the adoption train two years ago. Now we are mere days away from bringing home our two Haitian boys and some days I think I am crazy to have 4 kids and some days I am crazy to long to cuddle another baby. Right now, as I lay in bed typing away, the thought of a crying baby in the middle of the night waking my Benadryl induced sleep makes me feel queasy. OHHHHH, but the smell of a sweet baby always makes me want another. but as my mom put it, “my eggs are getting old”.

  7. Agree with the above commentor… never say never :)…

    oh and this comment: “It is a miracle of God that we had two more after Deacon. He was happy then and God changed his heart. That’s a super cool story for another time!”

    intrigued me….

    I am sooo waiting for THAT story… from either you our Aaron (preferably Aaron so that I can what men really think about when a wife say “Honey I would like to adopt 2 more children”… LOL. :).

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