I thought saying good-bye to Fedna the other day was the hardest thing ever. Then today I saw her again and met her family. I had been looking forward to this day ever since we brought her back. I wanted the parents to know how much we loved her and were so honored to have her in our home for so long while she had surgery.
I saw her and she looked so scared and confused. Almost as though she didn’t understand what was going on. It was the same look I saw in her eyes when I picked her up in FLL back in Jan and took her from Jess. She wasn’t so sure of me and wanted to stay with Jess. This poor girl just doesn’t know who is her safe place right now.
I knew in my head that she probably wouldn’t want me as soon as she saw me. I knew in my head that she might not act like she knows me. BUT for some reason my heart was still hoping that she would be the same girl I brought back. The girl that smiled all the time and loved to give her mommy kisses. The same girl that loved to laugh and take pictures.
Instead she wasn’t too interested in me and refused to give me a kiss. That was hard. She did come to me and let me hold her but she never seemed too confident in me. Man I loved this little girl. She has a HUGE place in my heart forever. I just sat in Lori’s office and bawled. It was so hard to see her again and for her to not be the same girl I brought back here. She was different. I miss the old Fedna.
I know that she is adjusting and trying to figure out where she goes and who she’s staying with. 10 weeks ago she was taken from her mom and dad and brought to a strange place. Then last week I brought her back and now she’s with her parents. It has to be confusing on a little kid.
Good thing is they got her stroller and her walker and said she’s using it. She was all dolled up with all the stuff we sent back with her. I loved it! I will love this girl forever. She will forever have a place in my heart.