You know I talk a lot about how great it is to host a child. It is great. It is wonderful to see the life change take place before my eyes in her. It is wonderful to feel like you are making a big difference in someone’s life. I love it.
BUT it is also very hard. It is hard on me as the #1 care giver for her. It is hard on my husband who is now flying solo with the house and kids and let’s not forget he does have a job that unfortunately this time of year just can’t be put on hold. It is hard on my kids who miss their mommy and are shuffled around to a new house each day and night. It is hard on our family. It is hard because she’s not the only big thing going on in our life right now. Aaron’s getting back into the studio which is VERY time consuming. He needs a wife to support him and take up for his absence during this crazy season. I’m leading a trip to Haiti that leaves in 3 weeks and 3 days. That in itself is time consuming and it’s not getting my best this time around.
So … today I had a mini cry session while feeding Fedna breakfast and talking to Aaron on the phone. I want my life back. I want a normal life again. I don’t want to be the family hosting a child from Haiti. I don’t want to be the family adopting two kids from Haiti. I want to just be a “normal” family with four kids. Is that too much to ask?
We could NOT do this without the support that we have had from our friends here in Austin. It’s hard to believe that we’ve only been here since August and the support base we have is amazing. I have had too many offers to watch my kids for me. Isn’t that wonderful! I have had too many offers to come and sit with Fedna so I can go home. I have had too many offers for food and help. I’m blown away. Thanks to everyone that has helped us out with hosting Fedna. We are not doing this alone and that feels good.