in surgery.

This morning has gone very smooth for me at the hospital.  We arrived on time (even a little early!) and got checked in and did our pre-op stuff.  Everyone’s been great.  I just talked to Aaron and apparently life wasn’t so smooth with him at home with the boys.  Maybe he’ll blog about it?  Ask him!  He sounded pissed when I talked to him, but maybe by this afternoon he’ll be able to laugh about it?  Maybe not.

Fedna is back in surgery now.  I’m telling you this stuff is hard.  I CAN NOT even begin to imagine going through this with a kid that I loved as my own.  I love Fedna.  But she is not my own.  I’m mearly standing in the gap for her momma who is in Haiti waiting on her to get home.  I’m loving her as my own, buy my heart and my head know she’s not.  I have to tell myself that to get through this.  She has a mamma and a papa that lover her dearly back home.  She is loved.

I was able to walk her half way down the hall and then I had to hand her over to the anesthesiologist.  It was a tall, white man so not a good combination.  I heard her crying as they walked down the hall.  It broke my heart.  Good thing is that they put her under nearly as soon as she gets back there.  I sent her doll with her, so hopefully that will make her feel more comfortable when she wakes up.

I have my bag of goodies here.  My book to finish (Twilight!!!).  My computer.  My coffee and a pager from the surgery check -in desk just in case I were to walk away.  Not sure where I would go, but just in case!  A sweet girl came down and introduced herself to me.  She is a nurse here and goes to The Stone.  Love that.  She was super nice.

There is a couple next to me waiting in here that just had a little tiff between them.  Nothing big.  I can only imagine the added stress and strain that is put on your family when you have a sick child.  I can already tell that I’ve been neglecting the rest of my family because of Fedna.  Not in a bad way, but just in a way that is not normal.  She needs so much from me.

So, now I wait.

11 responses to “in surgery.

  1. Jamie,

    I am amazed at your heart. It’s inspiring.

    On another note…you won’t be able to put Twilight down. And…I have the rest of the series when you are ready to read them!

    (I love seeing Fedna in Ava’s clothes:)

    • Melissa i have about 90 pages left. I read most of it the other day in the airport. I plan on finishing today. I would LOVE to borrow the other ones. I borrowed this one from a friend!

      And by the way Ava’s clothes rock! Thanks!

  2. Having had to hand over more than one child for surgery I know what a helpless feeling that is. I’m praying for you and all those involved.

  3. praying for you and Fedna (and Aaron) today…
    much love!

  4. I’ve had to leave two of my boys at the hospital and I know it’s heart wrenching. I’m praying for you all. It was such a blessing to meet you, Fedna and your sweet boys yesterday.

  5. i love your sweet heart, my friend.

    praying for fedna today!

  6. Praying for Fedna’s peace and comfort – and also for your husband’s sanity while he corrals kids and dog dog at home. 🙂

  7. Praying for you girl!!! You are doing great…. I will keep checking for post-op news.

  8. jamie. i just want to thank you for your blog and for connecting me and others to real hope for haiti. i think i cry everytime i look through their blog. and you inspire me. (not just because you are able to post 20x per my one 😉

    i just wanted you to know that i posted about you and them today.
    praying for support and more people to help.

  9. We are praying for Fedna today, and for you and your family.

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