2 Peter 1: 5-9
5For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; 6and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; 7and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love. 8For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. 9But if anyone does not have them, he is nearsighted and blind, and has forgotten that he has been cleansed from his past sins.
I read this yesterday and can’t get it off of my mind. I want to possess all these things. I want faith. I want goodness. I want knowledge. I want self-control. I want perseverance. I want godliness. I want brotherly kindness and I want love.
The verse that got my attention the most was the last one. The one about forgetting that we have been cleansed from our past sins. You see this feeling happened to me not too long ago. I forgot that I had been cleansed. I forgot that I was pure in the eyes of God. I forgot that the blood of his son Jesus, has cleansed me. I am clean. I have been cleaned. For a few hours a couple of weeks ago I forgot.
I was reminded a few weeks ago of something that I did in college that was very stupid. I did lots of stupid things in college. Way too many to count and most of them I’m not that excited about sharing with anyone. This one thing was bad though. I had actually placed this memory in a black hole in my head and had forgotten about it until someone brought it up. Immediately a wave of shame was brought over me. I was so embarrassed at my choices in college. I felt dirty and very unworthy of all God has done in my life. I felt as though I had brought shame upon my life now. That I was not capable of doing great things for God because of this action 12 years ago.
It was as if for those moments, well hours really, I had forgotten that I had been cleansed of my past sins. I had forgotten all that Jesus did for me when he died on the cross for my sins. He died on the cross for all my sins. He died on the cross for THAT sin that was now creeping into my thoughts and making me feel dirty. He cleansed me of that time in my life. He made me new and pure and clean.
I spent time crying and begging God to take these feelings away. I asked him to forgive me for these sins and all that whole time in my life. I regretted things. I looked at myself with shame.
Then it hit me …. There is no condemnation for those in Christ JEsus. These past sins do not define me. They do not show value in my life. God has taken them from me. Jesus took them on himself for me. I am cleansed of these sins.
I then dried all the tears. Put on some new eye liner and carried on with my day. I will not walk around defeated. I will not allow my past to control me. I am clean. I am a daughter of the KING.