Four year old’s lack of couth

I made a grocery trip today to my local Publix for one tomato and of course end up spending $70.  Maybe this is why Aaron doesn’t let me grocery shop.

We did get some very exciting pull ups for our little boy.  I have decided that our trip tot he beach in a few weeks will be more fun with no swim diapers!  Those things are so expensive.  Tomorrow we begin the training and are home all day.  I think he’ll sit on the potty every 30 minutes and we’ll see how things go!  My next two weeks will be full of potty training, which I HATE doing!

After we checked out the nice young man that was helping us probably went home and cried himself to sleep.  You see, my four year old wants to point out anything that he thinks is “different”.  This is fun and a great learning experience for some things, but sometimes it is just not fun.  I remember the time he called a man in Target with a patch over his eye a pirate complete with pirate noises and hand motions.  Makes sense to a four year old, right.  I remember the time he asked me why a woman was so big and she heard him.  Not a fun time for a mommy who is rather embarrassed.

So back to the man bagging our groceries today.  He was a nice young high school guy trying to earn a few extra bucks and here comes this four year old ruining his day.  Cayden looks at him while I’m watching my groceries go into the cart and then looks at me and asks, “mommy what are all those red dots on his face?”  Oh yes he did.  I look at the nice young man to see what red dots he is speaking of and oh yes those are zits he is talking about.  This nice young man is clearly struggling with acne and now my four year old is bringing it back to his attention again, as if he doesn’t remember every day of his life.  I was stunned and had no idea what to say.  My groceries weren’t all in the cart or I would have just gotten out of their quickly, so I tried ignoring him.  Yeah, not so good.  He asked again, and this time louder since he obviously assumed I didn’t hear him the first time and this time he even points to make sure i really know what he’s talking about.

Oh my … what is a mom to do?  I just told him to be quiet while I checked out and wanted to crawl under the cart and not look the guy in the eyes.  Then the sweet young man asked if I would like help to my car.  I was thinking “are you freaking kidding me, my sweet, innocent, little four year old just told the whole store about your acne problem and you still want to help me?”  Instead I just politely refused and wished him a good day.

We had a conversation on the way home about how when we see things that are different we should not mention them right then and then just ask mommy about them later.  Cayden didn’t get it and I didn’t even know how to explain to him that some things we just don’t yell out to the whole world to hear.  It’s hard teaching a four year old to have some couth when speaking to people.

Oh what is a mom to do?

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9 responses to “Four year old’s lack of couth

  1. ours was an rather overweight older man in a chinese restaurant wearing a red flannel shirt a bit too close to Christmas. he didnt seem very jolly…. and even less so after being mistaken for santa claus as i wished i could grab the fortune cookies and run.

  2. beat him…no…that can’t be the right answer.

    i have all teenagers, but i still have the same problem, because my 14 year old is special needs in the mental area.

    sometimes i can get by with “that is how God made them”. she understands that because her entire body is covered with port wine stains.

    in this case i might have said, “when we get older our body sometimes gives us red bumps on our face…” then i would have beat her. just kidding.

  3. Okay, I know this wasn’t funny for you, but it is really funny for us to read! My kids haven’t started asking questions like that and I am SO THANKFUL. I don’t know what I am going to do! I think every mom ends up with a couple good stories of embarassing things their kids say so you definitely aren’t alone!

  4. Yes- the unashamed curiosity of our four year olds. I in my ripe old age of 28 still have a hard time knowing what to say and what not to say. Shouldn’t things like Acne just be obvious though?!?

  5. 3 year olds have none either! About a month ago we were at a birthday party for one of my boys friends. The parents had invited some neighbors who happened to be from the middle east. The wife wore the full head gear and my son walks in after seeing her and asks “mom, why is there a shepard here?” I did crawl under the table.

  6. ah, yes – I’ve had many of those moments (including the big woman comment). After you’ve had the talk with him that some people are different, you need to tell him that’s it’s rude and hurts other’s feelings when you say things like that. If he does it again, stop him and tell him it’s rude (instead of ignoring it) and deal with it later by talking about it again. This will be a great lesson in teaching him to be sensitive to other’s feelings.

  7. Okay heather that cracked me up about the shepherd. 🙂 Fortunately for us our neighbors/friends across the street are from Jordan and she wears the whole thing to when she’s out. 🙂

    Sonya – you are right about explaining that to him …. tried it! I told him that people are different and sometimes if you see something different you don’t need to say it outloud or you could make the person very sad. Cayden stopped and thought for a moment and then he said …. “but i didn’t make him sad, he was already sad.” Smart kid b/c that boy did look very sad the minute we got there …. he probably wasn’t sad just an insecure teenage boy with bad acne that doesn’t help his insecurities.

    We tried to talk more about it, but I felt my words weren’t registering with him.

    oh kids ….

  8. Oh my, I’m not looking forward to that with my kids!!

    My niece constantly says “auntie Leah is there a baby in your belly?” and then tells me I’m wrong when I say no because my tummy is soooo big!!! Sometimes the conversation lasts for 30 minutes!! THANKS ISABELLE!!

  9. At least he isn’t mean about embarrassing you. I was a horrible child and would yell out things to embarrass my mom when I was little!

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