constantly dreaming.

I have read too many blogs to count where adoptive parents mourn another holiday passing without their kids home.  We have not encountered one of those holiday’s yet, but once Christmas 2008 gets here we will begin those dreaded holiday’s.

No where in my mind do I think that my kids will be home by Christmas.  That is 9 months away and just not practical.  The reason that will be our first holiday to mourn is because when we started this process in September of 2007 that was our hope.  We were hoping and praying for Christmas of 08.  I have said that so many times when people ask when we hope to have them home.  I do not say that anymore.

This past weekend at the Easter service we attended in Austin I was brought to tears while thinking about my kids.  My hope is now that they are home before Easter 2009.  I checked and that is April 12, 2009.  That is 12 months away.  It would be a miracle, but hey I can dream right.  God can do big things.

This is the holiday in my mind now that I will dream about every day.

I will dream about dressing all four of my kids in matching clothes.

I will dream about the first Sunday we all go to church together.

I will dream about the first breakfast we eat at home together.

I will dream about the first night in our own home.

I will dream about putting Amos and Story in their jammies after a bath.

I will dream about the first time I tuck all three boys into bed in one room.

I will dream about the first time I put a bow in Story’s hair.

I will dream about our first trip to the beach.

I will dream about Amos and Deacon playing soccer on the same team.

I will dream about Story wearing cute dresses with her initials on the collar.

I will dream about our first Thanksgiving together.   first Christmas.  first birthday’s at home.

I could go on and on.  I know all of you waiting parents could do the same.  These thoughts never leave my mind.  I am constantly dreaming of all the firsts we will have with our kids.   I am constantly dreaming of these kids being here in my arms.  I am constantly thinking of them.

I am constantly dreaming.

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6 responses to “constantly dreaming.

  1. Hi Jamie.
    I’ve been following your families story (hehe) through both your and Aaron’s blogs. I have to say that, even though I’ve never met you, your journey has brought me to tears. Both tears of joy for you with your children, and tears of sorrow over the pain in Haiti and the waiting you are in the midst of. Just wanted to encourage you today. I think your family is strong and beautiful, and sets a great example of a loving family!
    And the very second that God wants it to finally work out, it will. I know He smiles big because of you all!! Have hope!
    Also, Amos’s smile looks a lot like yours…or atleast what I’ve seen in photos here and on Aaron’s blog. Just thought I’d point it out.
    May God bless every aspect of this process and your family!

  2. Dreaming with you, sister!

  3. This was beautiful and I’m thankful I read it.

  4. sorry that last comment was from Crystin not Ben!

  5. this is a beautiful post.

  6. I hope that next Easter you have four kids in matching outfits! I had similiar thoughts about having Keanan home this Christmas and I know it will be tough.

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