thoughts of him

I have been thinking lots of our little boy in Haiti lately.

I find myself throughout the day wondering what he is doing. I wonder what he is eating. I wonder if he likes to take baths, and if so, how often is he able to get one. I wonder if he likes balls. I wonder if he likes to hear music. I wonder if he will someday like Thomas the Train, or Larry Boy. I wonder what he sleeps on. I wonder if he gets scared at night. I wonder if he has memories of being neglected. I wonder if he’ll love me. I wonder if his brothers will love him. I wonder when I’ll get to see him and touch him and hold him. I wonder if he’ll be scared when he comes home with us. I wonder if I’ll ever get all the documents that I need. I wonder if I’ll ever really be okay with waiting on him to come home. I wonder if our language barrier will be as bad as I think it will. I wonder if he’ll like swimming. I wonder if he’ll want to swing with his brothers in the back yard. I wonder if he’ll be potty trained. I wonder if it will take him long to feel a part of us. I wonder if he’ll be cold here. I wonder if he’ll ever know how much we already love him and I’ve never even touched him or seen his face. I wonder if he will accomplish GREAT things in his life. I wonder if when he’s older he’ll go back to Haiti and make a difference. I wonder if he’ll be scared of our dog. I wonder if he’ll want his own bed, or want to share with his brothers. I wonder if he’ll like our food. I wonder if preschool will scare him. I wonder if he’ll want to sleep with us at night. I wonder if he’ll be tall or short. I wonder if he’ll be scared on the airplane coming home. I wonder when he’ll know about us. I wonder if he’ll understand that we love him and are coming to get him. I wonder if he’ll want to be our son.

I wonder.

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7 responses to “thoughts of him

  1. I think you said that all beautifully. And I think anyone in your position would wonder all those same things. Thank you for your vulnerability. We know better how to pray now, for Dowensky and for you guys.

  2. jamie.

    he will love you. he will love all of you…your hug, your house, your dog, the boys, the man, the yard, your ice cream, your laughter, your joy…

    and everything else.

    who wouldn’t?

  3. I absolutely know that Dowensky will love you guys & will fit perfectly into your family b/c God has created him to be yours. I’ve been wondering about Bella a lot lately too–is she born yet or is she still in her birthmom’s belly? what will she look like, what will her personality be like? So many thoughts about this baby I love & know nothing about!! Adoption sure is a mess of emotions 🙂 Love you!!

  4. Jamie, Mel just told me that you guys were adopting again, and that i needed to read your blog. so, i find myself here, speechless and amazed. You have a beautiful heart, and this child will love you and the his new life here. i can’t wait to hear more.

    you are in my thoughts and prayers.

    grace. katie

  5. Good thoughts. Precious thoughts. Praying for you…and Dowensky. You guys are the perfect parents for Dowensky! God sure knows what He’s doing…it’s fun to sit back and watch this all unfold. It’s AWESOME!

  6. I think it’s so great for you to wonder……..Imagine for a minute the thoughts God has about him, and about you. How excited He is that you heard the call, and you said yes……He is definitely in this, and is going to bless your family to the full!

  7. I like all of them, but my favorite is Grayson. I have another friend that just named her little boy that!

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