I have found the perfect birthday spot. Oh my word you are going to want to do this! We don’t like to spend a lot of money on birthday parties, so I was in search of something cheap and fun. I really didn’t want to clean my house and have everyone over, and sometimes the kids think it’s more fun to go and play somewhere new. We don’t have a ton of toys, so when you get a ton of kids here it can get crazy. Okay back to my party search. I called jump houses, bowling alley’s, Chuck E Cheese and they were all over what I wanted to spend. We even went to the local fire station to ask if they do birthday parties there. (Someone had told me they had their sons party at one, so that’s why i asked!) Then last Wed we were doing our usual shopping at the Farmer’s Market and we asked Deacon if he wanted to have his party there and he went for it!!! He said YES!

So, we had Deacon’s fourth birthday party at the Farmer’s Market at the Triangle. We go every week and the kids have so much fun just running around in the big open field that we knew it would be fun. I bought a cake and some drinks and plates and napkins and we were good to go! Friends started showing up and the kids just ran and ran and ran. It was so much fun! Also at the Farmer’s Market they have face painting so all the kids got their faces painted!! What a bonus!

It was the easiest birthday party ever. Parents were able to stand around and talk. People could come and go as they needed to & the weather was PERFECT!  Deacon had a blast! The whole party costs me $50. Oh my it doesn’t get any better than that!!!

Enjoy the birthday pics!

The Stewart’s, Ivey’s and Bush’s – love these families and their sweet kids!

Deacon and his super cool batman cupcake cake from Target!

Deacon and his buddy Matt Carter – when I was asking him who he wanted to invite to his party one of his requests was Matt Carter – and yes he says first and last name for him. It’s super cute.

Let me just say that Story was a huge fan of the cake and especially the icing!

Look at these sweet girls!  I hope they become friends!!

Cayden and Deacon and their lady friends!

I know it’s kinda blurry, but here are my girls!

Deacon sweeping Paige off her feet!  He’s a charmer!

Some serious bat man faces!

There is never a birthday that will go by for my sweet boy Deacon that I won’t think of his first mom. The mom he had for 9 months before I was ever in his life. The mom that carried him to term and gave him life. The mom that still loves him today.

When we began a domestic adoption Aaron and I were both a little scared of the crazy birth mom that would probably come back and steal our child on their first day of kindergarten. We thought we would surely always have an unlisted number and freak if anyone looked too much like Deacon at the grocery store. Okay those are kinda extreme and surely we didn’t really have those thoughts, but in all honesty the birth parent issue was a scary one for us. We just weren’t sure what to do. We had never met anyone that was adopted. We had never met anyone that adopted domestically and talked about their childs birth parents or as crazy as it sounds saw them after the child was born. We were just new and scared and overwhelmed.

The more I started to read about birth parents the more I started to let my guard down and see things from her eyes and not just mine. I started noticing that birth moms really do love their children. Most of them are not on drugs, super young or uneducated. Many of them are in college, come from good families and not a drug in their system. Yes there are exceptions, but there always are in any situation. For me this was mind blowing, b/c I had given every birth mom the stereotype that you see on Lifetime movies. I was uneducated. I also was only looking at this adoption through my eyes and not through hers.

I read a book that altered my perception and pretty much changed our view and thoughts on what we wanted in a relationship with a birth parent. The book was called DEAR BIRTHMOTHER by Kathleen Silber. This book showed me that birth moms care about the kids that they are placing into another family. They want to know how they are, and how their lives are going. They desire to see them grow up either in person or through pictures. Wouldn’t you? When I read this book I had already birthed a child in the last year and so those feelings of pregnancy and birth were fresh on my mind. I kept thinking that if I had placed Cayden for adoption, wouldn’t I just want someone to tell me he was okay. That he loved kindergarten. That he was a fabulous big brother. That he loved pizza and enchiladas and chips and salsa. That he is learning to read and recently told his mom and dad the difference between fiction and non-fiction. Gosh these are things I would want to know. Simple every day things to ease my mind that he is okay. That he is safe and that he is loved.

I started relaying all these thoughts to Aaron and God began to stir in our heart a deep and true love for our childs birth parents. We had know idea who they would be, but we were praying for them and loving them and asking God to protect their body, heart, mind and soul. We were actively pursuing a relationship with this person before we even knew who this person was. God changed our hearts and gave us a peace about our relationship with whoever would be our childs birth parent.

When you are doing a domestic adoption both the adoptive parents and the birth parents can decide on what level of openness they both desire for the relationship. We were very much for a super open adoption. We wanted our child to know where they came from, who they looked like, & where they got their crazy traits from. These things were important to us and we knew that one day they would be even more important to our child.

When we found out we were chosen to be Deacon’s parents by his first mom we were so thrilled, but a little bummed that she wanted no contact with us after the adoption. My heart was broken for me, but more for my sweet son who would never know his history. I cried out to God to do something to ease this for us or to change her heart.

Deacon was born on a Friday and we were told that she still didn’t want to meet us or see him after the birth. Once again I was broken for her and all the pain she must be enduring. On Saturday the social worker came to me and told me that the birth mom wanted to meet me. OH MY WORD. I was so nervous and so alone. Aaron had already flown back to his gig he was at and it would just be me. Just me meeting the woman that just birthed the child that I was hoping would be mine in a few days. I was already in love with this boy. He had stolen my heart. What if she met me and changed her mind? What if I said something really stupid? What do I say to her? Thanks? No, that is is dumb and weird.

We met for about 15 min in her hospital room and I admit it was one of the most awkward moments of my entire life. I mean truly what do you say to a woman that just birthed a child and now wants you to be his mommy? It is humbling and weird all at the same time. It ended up going okay and I left feeling good.

Deacon’s birth mom signed her rights away on a Monday and that Tuesday we spent the entire day with her at the interim care moms house. It was a dream come true. We were with her and she was with us and we were learning about her and her life. At this point I didn’t know if we would ever see her again, so I felt as though I had to soak it all up so that one day I could look at Deacon and tell him about her. I needed to give that to him. He needed that and deserved that.

Four years later we have a great relationship with Deacon’s birth mother. She has been to many of Aaron’s shows and we just had lunch with her a few months ago. Deacon knows that he was in her tummy, but I’m not sure how much he gets of that as a four year old. He knows he was adopted and we will forever tell him the story of our journey to him and how God brought him to our family. He has changed our lives and many lives around him. He is a joy to parent and I’m honored that his first mom chose me to be his mommy!

I tucked Deacon into bed tonight and told him that when he wakes up in the morning he will be FOUR YEARS OLD.  He giggled and smiled from ear to ear.  He is so excited to be FOUR!  When tomorrow happens I’ll have two four year olds.  That’s crazy to me!

*This was one of Story’s first times to stand and her big brother Deacon had helped her!

Deacon is now not the baby anymore on his birthday.  He is now a middle child.    i pray and hope that he doesn’t get lost in the middle.  I have a small feeling though that he’ll make his own way and be his own kid in this family!  He is hilarious!  His voice is fabulous!  He has beautiful hair and skin.  His heart is huge.  He shares on his own.  He loves his sister and adores his brother.  He is a good kid that is testing the waters with obedience and always having a happy heart!

I am honored to be this kids mom.  I pray that he finds a fabulous wife one day that will honor him and cherish him for all that he is.  I pray that he finds God at an early age and clings to him and follows him with his whole heart, mind, body and soul.

My sweet Deacon, I love you more today than I did the day I first laid eyes on you.  You are my sweet baby boy and I am honored and grateful to be your mommy forever.  You are a joy to my life.

Here are the last two posts for Deacon’s birthday’:

Turning three

Turning two

Tonight Story had tofu for the first time!

Friday Story had her first taste of Home Slice and we went to our first Reagan game a family!  Story did fabulous!

Yesterday might have been the hardest day since we have been home.  Then today was maybe the best.  I love that.  Yesterday I was weary and today I feel good after the kids are in bed.  She is getting comfortable here.  I notice more of her crying is not for no reason at all, but yet b/c I tell her no.  I think that might be a good sign. 

Today I asked Cayden if he wanted to go to church with daddy or stay home with mommy all day long.  He thought for a moment and then told me that he wanted to stay home with me.  When I asked him why he said because he wanted to be with Story more.  He said he doesn’t get to be with her much since he’s always at school.

How sweet is that?  My big boy is compassionate and wants his little sister to love and adore him.  I have a feeling it might take a while, but no doubt it will happen.  He’s a great big brother and I think soon enough Story will see that too!

I just fixed Story’s hair in little puffs all over her head.  That was a challenge since she has had no nap today (she boycotted) and was out late last night and is just in a bad mood!  He looked at her finished do and told me that she finally looked like a little girl!  I have no idea what he means, but he reassured me that he loves her new hair do!

My friend Leslie and I both brought our girls home this month.  She had her precious baby girl, Ivey, on the 5th of October and we brought home Story on the 23rd of October.   This is child #3 for both of us!

THIS IS MY 1,000 POST on this blog.  Oh my word.  What have I said 1,000 times?  Who the heck is still reading this?

I have loved having a blog.  It is a HUGE outlet for me and I have met so many wonderful people through this blog!  People I would have never met had I not opened my big mouth on here.

I thought I would tell you some of the most popular posts that have happened here:

The all time highest viewed post is this one:  Who am I? – basically the page that tells who I am.  I think I need to update it too!  Okay that doesn’t count. The next one is this one:  HAITIAN ADOPTION PROCESS – I guess people are trying to figure out what is taking us so long to bring these kids home!

The top post from the last 30 days was when we got our Visa Appt!

Some of my favorite posts:

• MOM VS. BIRTHMOM
• HAIR CUTS, PUBLIX AND BIRTH MOMS
• MOM VS. BIRTHMOM, MY JOURNEY CONTINUES
• LACK OF SLEEP – the picture that led us towards adoption again

My top referrer of all time:  aaronivey.com

second is the Gordon’s

Next referrer was ivey kids site.  that’s my old blog.  oh i loved that blog.

after that is the livesay family and then baby bangs.   thanks guys!

I have wanted to put my blog into a book.  I would like to have each year in a book.  I have tried this numerous times and it’s not as easy as it sounds or looks.  I would pay someone lots of money to do this for me.  Any takers?

Aaron and I had a date night last night.  It was wonderful!  We got the kids to bed in record speed and propped ourselves in front of the tv to continue our love affair with the show MAD MEN.  Anyone else out there watch this show?  I have no idea what channel it comes on or how many seasons there are, but we are almost through with season one through Netflix.

Aaron presented me with a gift last night before our date.  He bought me a new book to read b/c he knew I had just recently finished one and was in need of something new.  He gave me a very sweet and thoughtful card (which he knows that I enjoy the words on the card as much or more than the gift!) that told me how much he loved me and how thankful he was for all the hard work I’ve been doing with our new daughter.  I loved it and it made our date night super special!

The book he bought me is SAY YOU’RE ONE OF THEM by Uwem Akpan.  I noticed this book a while back in the store and had briefly mentioned it to him the other day while we were in Costco.  He went to a bookstore yesterday for something else and probably saw this book, remembered that I had said something and decided to surprise me.  He’s just sweet like that.

The funny thing is that I had no idea what this book was about, but I thought the cover was cool.  Do you ever do that?  I do that lots.  I like to walk through Target and check out the book covers.  I think covers say a lot about the book.  I remember thinking the book cover to A MILLION LITTLE PIECES was super cool.  Anyone read that one?

Then there are times when the book cover is not that good and you read the book and it is awesome.  That was my last book, THE COLOR OF WATER.  I never would have picked this book up off the shelf, but someone recommended this book through a list of books that  his black friends wish white people would read.

I loved this book.  It was an easy read and one that sucks you into his life and all that he is going through.  I hurt through some of the pain that he endured as a black boy growing up with a white mom in a black neighborhood in the 60’s.  Talk about a hard time to be confused about your race.  I recommend this book to all of you.

So, I guess the moral of this story is “don’t judge a book by it’s cover”!

**Sorry that was a lame ending.  I just had to say it though!

STORY ….

• is happiest when eating
• is saddest when meal time is over
• enjoys Barney the most of all the cartoons she has seen
• has THE BEST laugh in our house right now
• has the LOUDEST cry in our house right now
• is still soaking through her diaper and jammies every night!
• poops every time she sleeps
• is sleeping SO GOOD!
• has the cutest shoulder shrug when she dances
• calls both the boys “deacon”
• her favorite phrase is “no deacon”
• loves her Papa when he has food to give her!
• loves to drink bath water
• thinks she’s in charge of her brothers!
• can go from happy to sad in a matter of seconds
• is getting around much better
• likes to do things on her own time
• might have possibly said “cayden” “carson” “papa” and “momma” yesterday – they all kinda sounded the same

We are loving having a girl and all the pink that comes along with that!  We can tell that she is going to have some spunk to her!  I predict she’ll be running this house in a few months!

*photo from Adrianne Collins from airport.

***Go HERE for photos of Story from in the hospital by Steven Bush.

Here is a video of Aaron singing AMOS STORY at one of his house tours a few weeks ago!

The other day I was in my office and had Aaron’s cd playing and this song came on. Out of no where Cayden looked at me and said, “daddy doesn’t need to sing this song anymore since Story’s home.” I smiled at him and then he said “well he should keep singing it until Amos gets home and then he doesn’t have to anymore.” Super sweet!