Aaron made it!

They made it!

All week long Aaron and Amos get to hang with lots of cool people in Haiti! I’m so stinking jealous!

Tara wrote about their arrival. I hope that we see more of them during the week

I got a few text from Aaron tonight telling me about his time with Amos.  I want to share them with you b/c they show how sweet our sweet baby boy is.

text #1 – he crawled up on me and was asleep in 1 minute

text #2 – he already went through the whole bag and smiled when i told him who each is from (talking about gifts we sent down there for him)

text #3 – he’s slim in face – much taller

text #4 – sweet and chilled out.  plays independently and absolutely will not stop hugging and hanging all over me.

WOW!  I can’t express to you how happy and sad this makes me all in one.  i am so extremely happy that amos is with his Papa.  I can’t tell you how much that boy loves his daddy and i’m so glad he gets to be with him.  But in the same breath I’m so sad.  Sad that I’m not there.  Sad that I don’t get to see how much taller he is.  Sad that I don’t get to see him go through the gifts we sent.  Sad that I don’t get the hugs Aaron is getting.  Sad that he is there and I am here.

This week will for sure be hard for me.  Not only am I desperately waiting for adoption news, but I am missing time with Amos . I haven’t seen my kids since March and that is the LONGEST I’ve gone without seeing them.

I just went through my blog and found several posts of past visits with the kids.

leaving the kids

I’m a Sappy Mess

Remembering us together

My emotions

5th time to visit kids

meeting him

Wed morning

I sure had fun reading those and you know I’ve been sitting here crying my eyes out.  Please pray for our papers this week.  Pray for Amos to get OUT of MOI.  Pray for Story to get a Visa appt.  Pray for supernatural bonding between Aaron and AMos & Story.  Pray for my momma’s heart as I grieve the fact that I’m not there loving on my babies.  It is hard to not be the one there.

Now I should surely go off to bed so I don’t cause my son another visit to the office for being tardy.  Yeap, I did that today.

papers, papers, papers

Word out on the street is that the C onsulate has requested another paper on our baby girl and that paper will be delivered to them tomorrow (Monday).

Please join me in praying that the will not need anymore papers.  That this will satisfy them.  That they will approve our I600 and assign us a Visa appt.

2 kids coming home.

I don’t know these people personally, but only through blogs and facebook (don’t you love the world wide web!) and I am SO EXCITED for them!!!!

Finally their little girl is coming home!!!!  I thought I would be upset when people I had been following started bringing their kids home, but i have not had one thought of jealousy or madness.  NOT ONE and i promise!  I am so excited that kids are coming home.  SO EXCITED!!!!

Last night Lynette’s daughter came home and tonight Michael and his family get word that their little girl is coming home soon.  I LOVE IT!

3rd day of school

As I walked Cayden to school today it hit me that this is our life. We will send our kids off to school for 6-7 hours a day for the next 17 years. Oh my word that is a long time! In two years we’ll be sending two more kids to kindergarten and then two years will go by and we’ll start the last one.

The truth is that school has gone great these last two days. Cayden has seemed to love every minute of it. I ask him 1 million questions every day when I pick him up and get about 3 of them answered. He doesn’t seem to mind that only him and one other kid bring their lunch, but he does seem to mind that his momma picks him up from school. His biggest request these days is to ride the bus. I’m just not ready for that, and I don’t see the need when we live less than one mile from the school.

His teacher seems very sweet and I appreciate her replying to my email the other day because I know she must be super busy. They talked about germs yesterday and Cayden told us the way to get germs off your hand if you sneeze in your hand. You rub them together really fast b/c germs don’t like heat. Um, I didn’t know that one. He was slightly disappointed about not knowing how to read after his first day of school. I told him to give his teacher a few weeks and then I’m sure he would start leaning how to read!

(sorry i can’t flip it, but here’s him with his teacher after the 1st day!)

He has already had music and art and I believe he has PE today. They are on a three day rotation with those electives. I’m hoping that he develops a love for all three of those electives and will become a very well rounded boy!

I am missing him during the day. I didn’t realize how much I would until he’s not here all day long. Deacon is really missing him throughout the day. Usually around 9AM each day he starts asking how many more minutes until Cayden comes home. Although it is super cute, it gets old about 3 hours into it!

Aaron and I were talking about how sad it is that he has to be at school and away from us for so long. Isn’t there a way he can go to school from 9-1. Wouldn’t that be fabulous. It hit us hard that he has now entered the stage in life where other people are influencers in his life. Up until now we have been able to select who has influenced his life. Now he’s surrounded by others that have that opportunity for 7 hours a day. It’s a scary thought. We know that we have him right where he’s supposed to be for this time, but it’s still hard.

I love him being in school. But I miss my baby.

Grocery experience

My friend Kristen writes for a blog called Mama Manifesto.  This is a blog you want to bookmark and go back to often.  They do a great job of having “mommy stories” on there, reviews of products, recipes and other fun stuff that I know you’ll be interested.

But for today I want you to head on over there and read Kristen’s experience at the grocery store with her three fabulous kids.  I was literally cracking up this morning over this.  Enjoy!

You got a better story?  I bet she would love to hear it!

First day of school

Today was the big day we’ve been talking about for weeks now.  The first day of KINDERGARTEN.  I can’t believe that I have a kid that is in school.  I thought I was young.  What now?  I’m in my 30’s and have a kindergartner.  UGH life is moving too fast!

Cayden was super pumped about school today.  He got up to find his new shirt and shorts to wear along with his backpack filled with supplies from the “back pack fairy”.  He also got a new bracelet from mommy and daddy so that he can remember us at school.  (I got the idea from my friend Courtney.)

We walked him to school and he did great.  It was kinda madness in the kinder area b/c lots of moms were hanging around … um including me!  He did fabulous.  I kissed him goodbye only 4 times and told him I loved him and was proud of him about 39 times. 

Nothing is impossible with HIM

I keep hearing that we’re close to the end with Story. We are so close. We are so close.

But yet I feel so far away. I feel as though this will never end. I feel as though I can say we’re close to the end when we’re on the flight from FL to Austin. Then we’ll be close to the end. Close to home. Close to being a real family that is all together.

I recently had one of those big melt downs where you give God a piece of your mind. It was not pretty. It lead to lots of tears, sobbing, pleading, yelling and other stuff that “normal good Christians” just don’t do. I felt as though I had been holding it in for so long and being so strong and then wow it all came pouring out. It came pouring out after me spending a good time alone and silent. I prayed to God. Begged for my children to be released. Pleaded. Made those promises I used to make in high school. You know that ones that go like this. IF you bring my kids home THEN I will NEVER do _____ again. You can fill in the blank with whatever. Then I got pissed that he didn’t take me up on my offer. I mean I was offering up some good stuff to Him.

This morning we sang a song at church that brought up so many emotions in me.

It says …. You are all I need …. You are my portion … I believe that you are more than enough for me …. You walk with me through fire …. Nothing is impossible with you

Those are strong words. Big words.

Honestly all that is very hard for me to say sometimes. When it says “nothing is impossible with you” I would sing that and then add on my own tag line. My song went something like this … “nothing is impossible with you – so BRING MY KIDS HOME NOW”. That’s a nice way to talk to God isn’t it. It kept coming out. It was as if I couldn’t stop it from coming into my head.

You know although I am having some hard times these past two weeks, I am still believing. I am still trusting. I am having a hard time with it 23 hours out of the day, but I am constantly striving to control those emotions and give in and trust 100%. Some days I do great. Others, I yell at God and try to make shady deals with him. As if he needs my deals.

zesty three-bean salad

I am loving this salad I made last night.  I have eaten it as a side, a snack and on top of a spinach salad.  It is so yummy!  My kids even love it too!  We love our beans around here!

Ingredients:

2 cups frozen sweet soybeans (edamame)

1 15 oz can of kidney beans, rinsed and drained

1 15oz can of garbanzo beans (chickpeas), rinsed and drained

1/2 cup thinly sliced red onion

1/2 cup chopped fresh cilantro

1/4 cup olive oil

1 tsp. finely shredded lime peel

1/4 cup lime juice

Preparation:

1.  Prepare soybeans according to package directions.  Drain in colander and rinse with cold water.

2.  In a large bowl combine the cooked soybeans, kidney beans, garbanzo beans, onion, and cilantro

3.  In small bowl whisk together oil, lime peel, lime juice, and 1/4 tsp salt.  Pour over bean mixture and toss to coat.  Cover and refrigerate up to 24 hours.  Stir well before serving.

Makes 10 servings.  (or less if you eat as much as me!!!!)

a hat for Amos.

This picture is super cute of my boys and their new hats.  I pulled these out of storage and gave them to them a few weeks ago.  The thing that I notice is the one Deacon is holding in his hand.  That’s for  Amos.  I bought these last year on clearance and they were for all three of them at the beginning of summer.  I held off giving them to the boys because it wasn’t fair that Amos wasn’t here to get his.

Finally I gave in and gave the boys their hats.  I made sure they knew that we were holding the special one for Amos and when he comes home we can give it to him!

It’s things like this that make this whole thing long and draining.  I just want Amos here with his brothers.  Right now they are both running around the house acting crazy and wearing Bat Man capes.  Amos needs to do that too.

I miss Amos & Story.  I’m hoping for good news in the next few weeks on both of them!

Adoption books to the teacher.

In about 30 minutes we’ll be pulling up at Cayden’s school for MEET THE TEACHER NIGHT.  I am oh so excited and nervous about meeting the woman or man that will be an influencer in my child’s life for the next 9 months.  I’m wondering if it is too early to bring them a gift?  Is it too early to bombard them with questions?  Is it too early to tell them I’ve been praying for them specifically for months now?

As a mom to children through birth and through adoption we want to be a helper to our kids teachers in talking about adoption.  It won’t be long until Cayden comes home telling us that one of his friends says that one of his brothers or sister isn’t his REAL brother or sister b/c they don’t look like him.  That makes my heart hurt just thinking about it.

I had a grand idea a long time ago that I could give my kids teachers a gift on the first day of school each year.  I thought about something cute for themselves, but then also a few books for their classroom.  Specifically books about adoption.  I could pick out some of my kids favorite books and give them to the teacher as a way to tell them that we’re in this together and I want to help out with adoption talk whenever I can.

Is this dumb?  Would I be intruding on his/her “teacher space”?  Teachers out there let me know your thoughts!