what is MOI?

Many of you often ask what exactly is MOI. So many of you are praying for us to get out of MOI and you have no idea what it is.  I’m thankful that God doesn’t care that you don’t have a clue what you are asking for!

It is the department that both kids papers are in.  Honestly I don’t even understand it all that well.  I know that when we get out of here we’ll be moving on to the passport stage.  I am so desperate to get out of MOI.  We’ve been in 4 months now and last I heard the average wait was 3-6 months.  I DO NOT want to get to 6 months in this place.

This blogger recently explained what MOI is and what goes on there. Follow the links to her blog to learn more.

they do come home.

It is so good to see that they do actually get to come home.

Kobe is coming home.

I’m not alone in this struggle

It seems as though most of my blogging these days is about my life sucking. Sorry for the word choice mom, but seriously I could come up with much worse! Each day I think I should blog and the only thing that comes to my mind is the fact that there’s a burning hole in my heart where my kids should be. There is a hole in our home. There is a hole in our plans and a constant hole when making vacation plans.

If you are in the adoption world you understand these thoughts way too well. It’s Friday and I’m once again wanting to desperately know if our files were signed out yesterday. Do I email? Do I wait? I don’t want to bother our lady there, but I want to know. I honestly want to know even if it’s a no b/c that way at least I’ll know.

Today I pulled up my bloglines and two moms that I have never met in person but have emailed and followed their journey through adoption had both blogged about their struggles with Haiti adoption. If you like reading about struggles, pains and desperate feelings from a mom I encourage you to go there. BUT when you go, be prepared. You won’t be happy when you leave, you will be mad and you will feel their pain …. especially if you are a mommy yourself.

Kristen and Stephanie both poured out their thoughts and feelings. Go read. Go encourage. Go and pray.

I often wonder what my blog will be like when the kids are home? Aaron has a song on his new cd that’s coming out June 23 (that’s a lame plug, i know!) that is about bringing our kids home from Haiti and it has a line that says this …. “throw the clocks away and run out to the street, we’ll fly to distant clouds where it’s just you and me. A day will come when all of this is gone, you’ve got to find a way to believe.”

Our day will come. Kristen’s day will come. Stephanie’s day will come. We have to find a way to believe.

2nd one this week

Cayden lost another tooth today!  We’ve known this one was loose for a while now, but he literally knocked it out today.  He had been in our “pool” and was on the patio and slipped and fell and I just knew we were headed the emergency room, but instead it literally knocked his tooth loose enough for me to barely even touch it and it fell out!  Fun times!

He said he was hoping he would get enough money tonight from the tooth fairy to buy a wii!!!  He has no idea what four quarters will and will not get you these days!

Amos turns FOUR

Yesterday was Amos’ birthday and I must say it was one of my lowest days in this whole process for me. I didn’t want the day to happen. I wanted him here for his birthday. I didn’t want him to still be there. Him and his sister need to be here. I did much of NOTHING yesterday. I was sappy. I cried. I ate. I read. I did NOTHING productive. I couldn’t. I was choosing to be sad and grumpy yesterday.

Amos is missing us. One of us has visited him 5 times during our process. He knows us and is old enough to realize that we come and go and he’s not so sure about it anymore. We will continue to visit our kids. We need to keep developing the bond that we’ve created with him and keep developing one with our sweet Story girl.

Yesterday Aaron blogged about his birthday. It was a hard day for us. I apologize if you called, I just couldn’t answer the phone. It was one of those days where you just want to crawl in bed and sleep until the next day. I knew the next day I would be fine, and today I was.

We were able to talk to Amos last night and that was so wonderful! It was so good to sing to him and tell him how much I love him. Each of the boys talked with him and sang Happy Birthday to him. He just kept wanting to talk more and more to his papa. He loves Aaron with a special love. We are overwhelmed with the way God has already bonded them together.

Here’s a video we made for him last nigh – I know I have an awful voice b/c Aaron tells me I’m tone deaf … or whatever that means – please don’t let that distract you from this moment!  I also know that my hair is never fixed and I never wear much make up in the summer so please don’t let that be a distraction either!!!!t:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xh4U1o7pRoY

Here’s last years birthday video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xjwzi4rOkFo

And here’s Amos watching last years birthday video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MHR2Zgm5cco

We so wish that he was here in our house for his fourth birthday but we’re praying and hoping that Story turns TWO in this house and that Amos turns FIVE in this house. OH my goodness Story will be two in about 6 months. God please bring her home before then!

Thank you so much to those of you that are continuing to lift us, our kids, their files and the whole process of adoption up to the LORD. One thing is true and that is that Story & Amos are HIS kids and not mine. HE is the master planner. HE is the master creator. HE is the master designer. I’m choosing to trust HIM tonight.

Cayden lost a tooth!

Look who lost their first tooth today!

Does your family do the tooth fairy?  If so, what do you do?  This is our first time!

almost out of MOI

For about a month now we’ve been hearing that Story might be getting close to getting out of MOI or already out.  This is such great news and such bad news.  Great news b/c once you get out you are literally about 2 big steps away from coming home.  Bad news because we have heard nothing on our sweet Amos.

The idea of them coming home at different times has come up numerous times during this whole process.  It is not something that we want at all, but something that we would accept greatly too.  Any kid that can come home is celebrated.  We have always wanted it to be Amos first.  Not b/c we love him any more, but b/c he is much more aware of what is going on then Story is.  He is almost four.  She is 18 months old.  He knows us.  She doesn’t.  He is sad when we leave each time, she could care less.  The age of them is making it much more difficult.

I want BOTH OF MY CHILDREN HOME TODAY.  I WANT THEM BOTH OUT OF MOI TODAY!   Yes I’m screaming b/c that’s what i want to scream all the way to Haiti each night.    I am hopeful that this will happen soon, and am looking forward to the day they both arrive home to Austin!

About 10 days ago we heard that Story was indeed out but they hadn’t seen it on paper yet.  So, we waited over the weekend in hopes that it really did happen.  We told a few people but for sure weren’t celebrating until we knew for sure.  We finally head this week that she did not get out of MOI.  I handled this quite well.  Yes I was dissapointed, but I am getting better at this trust thing.  I am trusting God’s plan and his timing.  I wish it was my timing, but it’s not and I’m accepting that HIS TIMING IS BEST.  That phrase is easy to tell other people, but hard to tell yourself!

So, I read this morning on this blog that indeed no files were signed out of MOI this week so just maybe we’re up to bat next week.  I feel as though we’ve been in the on deck circle way too long.

Praying next week is our week!

My pilgrimage

Today I was in my office and I reached up on the shelf to get something down and all of a sudden things started falling on my head from the shelve. Thank goodness most of them were papers, but there was one thing that was a little larger and thankfully it wasn’t anything large, but it did get my attention as it hit me on the head! I picked it up and remembered where I had gotten this thing. My friend Nancy had given this to me last year for my birthday. It is a CD set of Beth Moore’s STEPPING UP bible study.

Since this hit me on the head I thought I should maybe listen to it today! Boy am I glad that I did. The first CD was incredible for me today. I heard it each time I was in the car today. As the boys and I were on our way home I started weeping.

Beth was talking about being on a “pilgrimage” to God. We read Psalm 84:5 “Blessed are those whose strength is in you, who have set their hearts on pilgrimage.” Then it goes on from 6-7 saying, “As they pass through the Valley of Baca, they make it a place of springs, the autumn rains also cover it with pools. They go from strength to strength till each appears before God in Zion.”

Blessed in verse five means to be happy. So it says ….. HAPPY is he whose heart is set on pilgrimage.

Then she talked about perspective. Changing our perspective. That whatever we’re going through is not where we’re staying; we’re not stuck in this place. She said our circumstances will be a whole lot happier if we’ll get it through our heads that where we are is not where we’re staying. How much happier would I be? This time is a flash of time in eternity.

As the tears flowed I thought of my circumstances where I am right now. I’m longing in my heart and soul for two of my children to be home. For me to be their mommy every day, not just a few times a year. In my heart I’m lonely for them. In my heart and soul there are pieces missing.

I thought about my pilgrimage and where I’m heading. I’m on a pilgrimage to get my kids and right now life is hard on this pilgrimage. BUT it is not the end. I will not be here forever. Eventually my kids will be here and this time of longing will be a faint memory. My life will move on. I long to be happy on this pilgrimage that God has me on. It is hard to be happy though when times are hard, BUT I want to be happy. I want this pilgrimage to be a happy and blessed time in my life.

Jon & Kate plus 8 on the rocks …

A few years ago I gave up buying those magazines that you see in the check out line at the grocery store. I mean why do I need to spend $3.99 on a magazine about people I don’t even know! Seriously! It is a waste of money.

BUT today I had to break down and buy it b/c I didn’t have enough time to read the article right there in the store. I’ve been seeing coverage all over the “trashy” magazines about Jon & Kate having marriage problems and refused to believe it …. BUT today I saw her pic on People Magazine and the title is WE MIGHT SPLIT UP

I hate to see people split up and this makes me sad.  Your thoughts?  Aaron says it’s b/c they have 8 kids.  He’s stupid.

Cooking this weekend

We had guests this weekend and that means I brought out some new recipes for them!!! Here’s what we had and how we liked it:

1. WHOLE WHEAT SHELLS W/ ASPARAGUS, PEAS, FETA AND MINT - I got this recipe out of the April issue of our Vegetarian Times magazine. It was super easy and we’ve eaten on it a few times since then. I didn’t have enough mint or basil (this usually happens when I cook) so it could have used some more, but still was wonderful.  I also didn’t use the green onions b/c frankly I just don’t like green onions!  The feta made it fabulous!  Super duper easy!

2.  SWEET POTATO SALAD WITH APPLE AND AVOCADO -  I love all the ingredients in here, but can’t imagine them in one dish …. it was fabulous!  Wonderful!  Everyone loved it.  Super easy too and went great over a bed of spinach leaves as a salad.  I highly recommend.  Of course I didn’t put pumpkin seeds because I couldn’t find any, but i know that would have made it even better!  I also go this out of my Vegetarian Times magazine.

3.  MONKEY BREAD – my mom used to make monkey bread when i was younger and I’ve been wanting to make it for a while now.  There is absolutely NOTHING healthy about this breakfast item, but it’s fun when you have company in town or for a special occasion.  I got this recipe from The Pioneer Woman blog.  I was slightly dissappointed b/c mine turned out NOTHING like hers and looked NOTHING like hers.  Something went wrong.  I know how easy this is and how good it is, and was bummed that mine didn’t turn out like that.  I’m pretty certain it was an error on my part and I just might try it out again before I give Maris her bundt pan back.  I didn’t use cinnamon in mine b/c I was out.  I told you there is always something I’m having to leave out of my recipes!!!

So there you have it.  The three new recipes I tried out this weekend.  Tonight it’s mexican lasagna!