newborn baby pics

Found these pictures.  I love newborn baby pics.  They always look so cute.  I will forever remember the day both these precious children were born.  The same as I’ll remember when we found out we were pregnant, when we got the call about Deacon, when we saw Amos on Licia’s site the first time & when Licia told me about a baby girl that was just born and needed a family.  I love memories of your children.

lunchtime

I made my kids eat two bites of avocado today.  Neither one of them liked it.  Cayden’s went down fairly smooth.  Deacon looked like he was going to throw up.  You think if I make them eat a bite every day they’ll begin to love them like me?

I had a fabulous salad for lunch.  Great green romaine lettuce, a package of tuna, a whole avocado (minus the two bites for each of the boys) and a slice of swiss cheese cut up.  Yummy in my tummy!

The boys had a muffin tin lunch.  I’ve seen people do these before and I think it’s a fabulous idea.  I had two 6 cup muffin tins and put something different in each spot.  They loved it and thought it was so cool to eat on a different kind of plate!  They had cheese, applesauce, bread, oranges, grapes, blueberries, avocado, edamame and then we topped it all off with cherries.  REAL cherries.  I had never had these until Aaron brought them home the other day.  My kids loved them.  By the end of lunch they had red cherry juice everywhere.  They are hilarious trying to get the seed out!

How was your lunch today?

Christmas 2005

While packing tonight I went through my photos that are in boxes.  I threw lots away and got them all in a box nice and neat.  I found some photos that i’m going to share with you over the next few days.

This one was our Christmas card from 2005.  Might be my favorite one yet.  LOVED this card!

moving day.

This was our family when we moved to Nashville 5 years ago.

Stay tuned in then next few weeks for our moving day picture for moving back home to TX.

We found a house yesterday.  We sent off our application and all that jazz today.  Hopefully they’ll say yes and let us live in their house!  I’ll keep you up to date with all that.

I hate packing.  We are looking at moving in two weeks from tomorrow.  That means if we start NOW we can pack, and throw away and donate all in one.  I am determined to not move anything I don’t need or haven’t used in a year!  Should I even open up those few boxes that haven’t been opened since we moved in this house almost four years ago?

Got any packing and/or moving secrets for me?  Bring em on.

1/2 of my family.

1/2 of my heart is in Haiti with these two sweetie pie kids.

I want to trust.

I seem to not be able to sit through a worship set at church these days without crying.  Usually so much that I feel awkward.  I am constantly thinking of my kids in Haiti.  When the songs are about trusting God, obeying God, loving his will …. all these things work on me.

I discovered something today.  I don’t want to trust God.  I don’t want to put all that pressure on him to pull through.  I don’t want to allow my  heart to rest.  I don’t want to rest and feel peace about this adoption.  Here’s why …. if I trust God 100% and he doesn’t have it in his will for these kids to come home then I will be pissed.  I will be let down.  I will have given him all my trust and he let me down.

Before you think that I’m super un-christian right now … please know that I’m a super emotional momma who wants all four kids under one roof.  I also am here admitting to you that i am strugging with my trust in God in our adoption.  I’m struggling.  I want to trust.  I want to sleep good at night.  I want to KNOW that he will bring them home.  I want to never doubt his will for my life.  i want to believe.  BUT whenever I tell myself this a small voice always pops up in my head telling me this …. don’t trust God … what if he lets you down … he will break your heart.

I know this sounds ridiculous.  Even typing this is asking for criticism from you all.  I’m opening up my heart and praying that you won’t crucify me for my lack of faith, but walk with me and help me increase it.  I know some of you have been there where i am.  how did you get over this hump?  how did you persevere?

OH my.  I want to TRUST.   I keep thinking of the man in the bible telling God … HELP ME BELIEVE.  I want to believe.  I want to trust.  I just need help.

NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE WITH GOD

NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE WITH GOD

NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE WITH GOD

HE HOLDS MY WHOLE WORLD IN HIS HANDS

We sang that today.  I wept with wanting to trust.  i wept with wanting to hand my kids lives over to him.  I want to.  It is just hard.  It hurts to let go.  It hurts to feel out of control.  I like control.

God does hold MY WHOLE WORLD in his hands.  Right now my whole world is my family.  My kids in Haiti.  My kids here.  My husband.  God holds them.  I want to believe that without hesitation.

weekend madness

Looking back over last night I’m amazed at God’s provision over us.  We are alive and home.

About an hour outside of our final destination – HOME – we pulled into a gas station b/c a certain someone had to go potty with less than an hour to drive until – HOME – … um that would be me!  Don’t you love that dad!  My dad used to get so mad when I would have to go potty less than an hour after we left home or less than an hour before we were home … anyhow back to last night.

While we pulled in we felt a tug and then we couldn’t go anymore.  We all got out to investigate and handy-man-Bush and tag-along-handy-man-Aaron discovered that the axle in the trailer was broken.  The two wheels on the right side were literally stuck together b/c one couldn’t move.  I have no idea what that means, but I did know we weren’t going anywhere and that trailer didn’t look good!

So our friend Jesse has a towing truck that he works and he drove all the way to help us.  As he was getting it up on the trailer bed the rope ….not really a rope, but i don’t know the technical term ….. BROKE.  the trailer then went flying back down to the road.  OH MY GOODNESS.

A couple of things I thanked God over and over on the road home last night.

#1 – if the axle had broken while we were driving down the freeway at 70+ mph there could have been some MAJOR damage to cars and people.  Thank you Jesus I had to pee when I did!

#2 – had that rope thingy on the tow truck broke while Jesse was under the trailer fixing something it would have killed him. Thank you Jesus no one was near it when it went flying down.

#3 – had that rope thingy broken while the tow truck was driving home going 50+ mph there could have been some major damage to cars, people and all the gear in the trailer.

I’m thinking God today for his provision on us last night.  I’m also thankful for our fabulous friend Jesse who literally bailed us out last night.  I’m thankful for a sweet man named Pat who stopped at the gas station to help us out.  I’m thankful for the video player in the van so the kids were content the whole time.  I’m thankful for Bush & Aaron for getting us all home safely last night even if it was 2am!

So …. now I’m off to unpack and repack b/c we’re leaving this house in 1.5 hours to drop the kids off with Tamara and Jesse and then get on a plane for Austin!  Yippee!  I’m looking forward to this trip for many reasons, but here are a few ….

#1 – reconnecting with Aaron.  Yes we’ve been together non-stop for 9 days, but the conversations that are meaningful have been few and far between.  During these 9 days he has been working, we’ve been out of our home, so the kids are a little off, and we’ve been at the beach.  Our best “couple” time was our date night at the beach.  So …. here’s to reconnecting with  Aaron while in Austin for a few days

#2 – we are house hunting!  Yipee!!  we’re going to be looking for  a sweet little rent house to live in for the next year.  we want a place for guests and enough room for when our family adds to new sweet little kids to it!

#3 – we’re going to the STONE – I love going to church there.  It won’t be long until I get to go EVERY week!  From what I hear lately Carter is bringing it and I am ready to feel the heat.

#4 – i’ll be away from my kids for 3 days straight.  Now I love my kids dearly, but this momma needs a break!  9 days at the beach was a lot of momma time!  This makes #1 happen, and we are so grateful for the Cosby’s and Shingleton’s for loving on our kids while we’re gone!

Off to pack …..

60 days.

60 days from today I will be holding Amos and Story in my arms once again.  How much will they have changed since May?

January 2008

May 2008

pictures.

Licia sent us this new picture of our sweet boy yesterday.  I just love his face.  I love his eyes.  I love the maturity in his face.  I love the look of mischief in his eyes.    I love this kid.

Cayden wearing Jimmie’s bandanna at the beach!  How cutie pie is he?

Deacon at the beach.  He is not the biggest fan of the sand and water, but he was a champ the other day and stuck it out and I think he might of had a good time!

i love these boys!  oh how i can’t wait to have sweet story and amos in this picture with mommy!

Does our family look like an interracial family or what?  I honestly think that people think that Aaron and I married and brought children into our marriage.  I brought Deacon and he brought Cayden!  How funny!

Today is our last full day at the beach.  I think I was ready to go home about 3 days ago!  We have had SO MUCH fun, but I’ll admit it …. road life is NOT for me!  Maybe it would be more for me without the kids!    I have LOVED seeing the kids have so much fun in the pool and gain so much confidence.  I’m so proud of both of them.  They have jumped off the sides of the pool for hours and hours and been thrown all over the pool by all the SPUR boys.

We head home in the morning and then Aaron and I fly to Austin for the weekend with no kids (thanks Cosby’s and Shingleton’s!!) on Saturday.  Aaron will play at THE STONE and we’ll hopefully find a rent house to put $ down while we’re there and figure out a date to move in!  Pray for a good home inspection tomorrow, the buyer’s loan to keep going good, for us to find a rent home in a neighborhood we feel comfortable in.

Hope you are having a great Thursday!

children starving

Kids dieing in Haiti still perplexes me.  It still makes me wonder why God allows this.  Why do people spend millions on homes here in the states when these children will die before they are 5.  Why do I spend $2 every day this week for coffee when these children could take my $2 and live on it every day?  Why do these mom’s have to loose child after child because they have no money to feed them?

Licia admitted this little girl in and doesn’t expect her to live long.  Why? How?

Licia had this chart on her blog today and I wanted to share it with you.  I will probably go my entire life and never experience what these children experience.

HOW STARVATION AFFECT THE BODY

Area	Effects
Digestive system	Decreased production of stomach acid Shrinking of the stomach Frequent, often fatal, diarrhea
Cardiovascular system (heart and blood vessels)	Reduced heart size, reduced amount of blood pumped, slow heart rate, and low blood pressure Ultimately, heart failure
Respiratory system	Slow breathing and reduced lung capacity Ultimately, respiratory failure
Reproductive system	Reduced size of ovaries and testes Loss of sex drive (libido) Cessation of menstrual periods
Nervous system	Apathy and irritability In children, mental retardation (sometimes) Mental dysfunction, particularly in older people
Muscles	Reduced muscle size and strength, imparing the ability to exercise or work
Blood	Anemia
Metabolism (body processes to convert food into energy or to synthesize needed substances)	Low body temperature (hypothermia) Fluid accumulation in the arms, legs, and abdomen Disappearance of fat
Skin and hair	Thin, dry, inelastic skin Dry, sparse hair that falls out easily
Immune system	Impaired ability to fight infections and repair wounds