biracial.

If you don’t know or haven’t noticed our youngest son Deacon is biracial.  His first mom is white and his first dad is black.  He has beautiful brown skin and great curly hair.  I know I’m biased because I’m his mom, but I must say he is beautiful.

Today I had a weird moment at Chick-fil-A.  A man sat down beside me in the kiddie play area and we said our cordial hello’s and I went back to half-way reading my new book and half-way watching the kids.  For some reason I wasn’t in the mood to chat, so I read my book, looked up every few sentences for the kids and minded my own business.

Deacon ran over to me for a drink and when he left the man looked at me and our short conversation went something like this:

Man:  He is beautiful.

Me:  Thanks.

Man:  I always tell my mom that if I ever have another child I want them to be biracial.

Me:  Oh really.

Man:  Yes they are the most beautiful kids.  There’s just something about them.

Me:  Um.  Yeah.  Okay.

Is that a weird conversation to have with a man you’ve never met at the Chick-fil-A play ground?  I am not one to be offended when people ooh and goo over Deacon’s skin, hair and such.  It doesn’t bother me, because he is beautiful.  It only bothers me when people do that as they pass by my not adopted, white, four year old child.  Then it bothers me.  I want both of my children to get attention for how they were created by God.

Okay back to the weird man in Chick-fil-A.  Should this have bothered me?  What do you think?

I know I’m guilty of this.  I think Ethiopian children have the most beautiful faces and cheek bones.  I think Guatemalan girls have a look in their eyes that is captivating.  I think the Haitian children have beautiful skin and a great look in their eyes.  I think Chinese girls have lovely round faces and great hair.  You see what I mean?  We’re all guilty of this.  When is it overstepping the boundaries?  What is stereotyping and what is just plain adoration and curiosity.  I also wonder would we have these same feelings about these children if they lived next door to us with their Chinese parents, Haitian parents, Guatemalan parents, Ethiopian parents, etc., or is it easier to be intrigued by them because they live with white parents?

Tell me your thoughts.

do you have a napkin?

MOM  MOM MOM MOM

That’s what woke me up at 2:15 this morning.  Deacon was yelling for me.  Normally in the middle of the night if the cry is not for fear or pain I don’t hurry downstairs.  For some reason I got up and headed down there quickly and I’m sure glad I did.

Half awake I went to Deacon’s bed to find him sitting up looking at me.  Before I could even realize what had happened he said to me, “Mom do you have a napkin to clean this up?”.  I then looked around and noticed throw up all over his jammies, his bed and all 185 stuffed animals in his bed.  Oh gross!  He wasn’t crying at all, just wanting a napkin to clean it up!

I called for Aaron and we cleaned it up together and he threw up two more times, but was such a big boy the whole time.  He stayed home with daddy today and we knew he was sick, because he laid around all day and watched tv.  If you know Deacon, you know that he doesn’t lay around and he doesn’t slow down to watch tv!

I’m happy to announce that at dinner tonight he was back to his normal goof-ball self!  The kids are in bed and Aaron and I are plopped in front of the tv to watch LOST!

I 171-H approval

YES!  We received it today in the mail.  We all jumped around in the kitchen and did the we-are-approved-to-adopt-an-orphan-dance.  That is what this form is.  It gives us permission for our homeland security here in the USA to adopt an orphan from another country.  We had to prove to them that we had good intentions and could support them so they wouldn’t end up on welfare here or something. 

So, now they have sent something down to the US Embassy in PAP and when Aaron and I are there in May we will go in person and file our I600.  From what I’ve heard it helps lots to be able to file that in country, so we’re happy to be able to do that.

That’s our happy news of the day … what is yours?

adoption sleep disorder

I can’t sleep.  I’ve been in bed since 11 and not much sleep has happened.  It is 2 am and I’m tossing and turning all night long.  I have adoption sleep disorder.  Catchy name, uh?  I just named it that.  It is a disorder taking over hundreds of homes at any given night.  Your brain will not turn off.  There is nothing that you can do.  It keeps going and going and going.  You see images of your children.  You see your paperwork moving from one office to the next.  You imagine the worst case scenario of your paperwork getting denied.  You imagine the emails you’ll receive about your progress.  At one point I think Barb is talking to me.  Now I’m not only experiencing adoption sleep disorder I’m now fallen victim of adoption hallucinations.  I now think I’m seeing my kids.  I keep hearing Lori’s voice from IN telling me that Barb is working on this and that for me.  Then I open my eyes and I’m still in my bed next to Aaron who is very oblivious to my tossing and turning.

When I can’t sleep I don’t want anyone to sleep.  I have woken him up a few times to tell him I can’t sleep only to get a grunt and half hug with one arm slung over my body as if to say I’m sorry, but not really.  This makes me furious.  Livid mad.  Furious.  Not furious that he doesn’t talk to me mind you, but yet very furious that he can sleep.  I want what he has.  The ability to shut it off at night.

So, if you are ever up at night experiencing either of these strange phenomenon’s know that you are not alone.  We have all been there and done that.  I remember when I was pregnant and I couldn’t sleep towards the end of my pregnancy for a number of reasons, but mainly because I was so large and in charge that my body was down right uncomfortable.  The same scenario went down those nights as Aaron would grunt while I would beg for mercy from him for  my disorder.  Even though this disorder was mainly brought on by my obscene love obsession with Sonic tater tots with cheese during my pregnancy I hated it too.  The fact that he could sleep when I could not.   Furious.  Livid.  Furious.  But I think those sleepless nights prepared me for the real sleepless nights that occur when a newborn comes home.  Maybe these sleepless nights over the next months, years (oh how I hate to see that ’s’ at the end of year) will be preparing me for something too.

Until then … I will do the same.  Try to clear my mind and walk back upstairs get back in bed next to my very sleepy hubby and try once again to unwind.  To let it go.  I will begin to pray and ask God to take my thoughts and make them his.  I will beg him to keep my kids safe and get them home quickly.  I will beg of him to mold me during this journey and bring me to the other side of it changed and more like Him.  I will also beg him for strength tomorrow when the alarm goes off in about 3.5 hours!  Gulp!

Good night …. I hope.

happy mommy.

I could have cleaned a bathroom.

I could have unloaded the dishwasher.

I could have folded the clothes in the dryer.

I could have washed my sheets.

I could have watched a movie.

I could have vacuumed the stairs.

I could have read a good book.

I could have done my bible study.

INSTEAD …. I took a fabulous nap on the couch with a very warm blanket!

I am a much happier mommy now!

Cayden drawing daddy

Here is Cayden’s drawing of his daddy playing his piano:

Random blogs to check out.

I thought I’d give you a few of the blogs that I enjoy for various reasons. When you get a spare moment this weekend (ha!) go and check some out. You might just meet a new friend!

I’m going to Haiti in May to serve these people. Kim is going. Ginger is going. Chrystal is going. Debra is going. Aaron is going too. Jen is also in Haiti with the Livesay family.

Our great friends Matt & Rachel are in the adoption process. They were adopting from El Salvador, but have recently switched to Ethiopia. They are selling fabulous baby lovey blankets. I have given some as gifts and Story has one too. Go to Auntie Em’s Creations and get one or two for yourself.

This lady always inspires me and encourages me.

Don’t know these people but they are in Vietnam with their new daughter!

This is who we’re adopting from in Haiti. These people do cool stuff for kids.

My friends Steven and Maris are in the domestic adoption process. You can read their story here.

I love this site for cool kids stuff. Kat is cool. Liz is cool.

She has photographed us, she has photographed us and we wish he would photograph us!

These people are doing GREAT things for kids!

Here is one hot chef that I wish would update more often!

I have bought stuff from her before.

They are starting a new journey through foster care adoption.

So, how was that. Give you something to do on a lazy Sunday afternoon?

dusty tv

Why do I only notice the dust on my tv and behind it when the cable man is here?

Amos loves Story.

Yesterday Lori sent me a fabulous video of my kids in Haiti.  I cherish each of these videos and have watched this one a dozen times since getting the email from her.  I am amazed at how much Story is doing and how much bigger she is than when I was there a month and a half ago.  I love how happy Amos is.  He seems to be joyful and full of life.

I went back and watched the very first video that they sent us of Amos and he has come so far in these past 6 months.  It is as if he has a whole new look on life.  He stays upstairs with Licia and her family some and it is amazing what a family environment can do for a child.

I can not wait for the day that we post videos of us bringing our sweet boy and sweet girl home!  That will be a glorious day!

For now, enjoy this sweet video of my two beautiful children in Haiti!

not talking to me ….

I think I should remind any new readers that the reason Aaron is not talking to me is because he is on vocal rest prescribed by his ENT doctor, and not because he is mad at me.  I guess I wrote about it the other day and how hard it has been him not talking to me for 2 weeks and a very well intended new (I’m assuming new or they would have known) reader advised us to get some counseling!  We are great.  Very happy and healthy family and are just communicating a little differently for a month!