Christmas gifts?

Our family has never been focused on Christmas gifts a lot. Aaron and I have never gotten gifts for each other. Last year was the first time my kids received gifts from us. I have always loved getting gifts (my selfishness!) but over the past few years it has seemed pointless to me. The things I need are minimal, if any. The things I want are outrageously expensive, so therefore what do I need anyone to get me for Christmas? Nothing. We have decided this year to not exchange gifts with our family. We started thinking about this a few years ago when we were walking through a Target trying desperatly to find a gift for under $15 for my mom before I had to ship off the box of presents. I ended up getting her some crappy mittens and a matching hat. She lives in Texas. She doesn’t need these. They were crappy. They were $15. She took them back. You get my point. I wasn’t giving her a gift because I loved her. I wasn’t buying something that she would love. I was trying to get her $15 spent so I could check her off our list. STUPID!

I am not saying giving gifts is bad. Remember this is OUR journey and OUR convictions. I am just letting you in my mind and our hearts.

This year we were trying to figure out what to do for our kids for Christmas. I mentioned three gifts because Jesus got three gifts and Aaron said that was cheesy. Oh well. I mentioned no gifts. We weren’t willing to go there. I mentioned one gift. Might as well do none. Then my friend Tamara told me what they are doing this year for kids. One need, One want, and One surprise gift. There we go – that’s what we’ll do.

I don’t want my kids to be focused on gifts for Christmas because I was while I was growing up. I can still tell you the MAJOR gifts my parents bought me because I wanted them. They weren’t cheap. I was a spoiled brat. My parents were awesome, but I didn’t need that HUGE Dooney and Burke purse just because everyone else had one. I was spoiled and ungrateful. Very ungrateful. My parents should get all the money back that I made them spend on me. (just kidding mom, please don’t ask for that!!!!) I was an ungrateful spoiled brat. (Mom & Dad – I’m sorry.)

I can’t lay my head down at night if I spend hundreds of dollars on gifts while children in Haiti, Peru, Africa, all around the world have NOTHING to eat and I’m busy buying everyone crap gifts just to be politically correct. I can’t do it and won’t do it.

So, what does your family do for gifts?

death.life.sorrow.joy

I am moved to tears nearly every time I visit Licia’s blog. She does a great job of letting us get a look into her life. I have no idea how she and her sister, Lori, do what they do. They sacrifice day in and day out to help the people that come to visit them. They experience death daily. They experience the misfortune that these children have day after day. They see the children dying from simply not having enough food to eat.

After we stuffed our faces on Thanksgiving my mom said she felt guilty for eating all that knowing that the people in Haiti and around the world won’t have as much food as we consumed in one day for a whole month. Perspective.

I wish that all those peole out there that gets so consumed with the word “saving” would go and read Licia and Lori’s blog. See the children dying because their familes don’t want them. See the children dying because their family can’t support all the kids and the two in the middle get left out. See the children dying because they have no education and have no job skills to support themselves and their four brothers after their parents died in a flood. See the children with no one.

I am learning lots of lessons throughout this adoption. I’m learning that I need to listen for people’s hearts before I judge their words or actions. I’m learning that this country is a place where most people don’t want to know what goes on in 3rd world countries. I’m learning that adoption is hard. I’m learning that raising a family that looks different is hard.

I have so much going on in my little bitty head that I know this post is random, speratic and probalby makes no sense. Oh well. Who cares, its my blog.

Sponsoring children

My friend Amy called me today and told me that she read Aaron’s blog today and the post about him meeting our sponsored child led her to cry like she had not cried in a long time. Not only did it lead her to cry, but it led her to go to the Compassion website and sponsor a child right then. She said she picked out a 3 year old little boy from Kenya.

WOW! This little boys life has been forever changed from one family giving $35 a month. He will receive an education and medical care. His parents will be so happy when they get the news.

driving to Haiti

mommy: Why don’t you and your brother pretend like you’re driving a car.

Big Boy: Okay, come on bubbie.

Mommy: Where are you going to go?

Big Boy: We’re driving to Haiti to pick Amos up.

Mommy: Oh that is great!

Big Boy: Hi Amos! I like your house!

29 reasons I love him.

Happy Birthday to the love of my life. Aaron is turning 29 today and he is in Peru and last I heard from Bush he was not feeling too well. I spent all night praying for him and thinking of him and wishing I was there to lay in bed with hiim while he is sick. It’s no fun to be sick and away from your best friend.

Anyhow today is his big birthday and I wanted to list 29 reasons why I’m still madly and passionately in love with this man:
#1 – I was the first girl he ever kissed
#2 – I still become sillly when I’m around him
#3 – He is always wanting to take me out on dates
#4 – He loves our kids with all he has
#5 – He watches girly movies with me
#6 – He is an amazing cook
#7 – He has a creative mind that is always bursting with ideas
#8 – He doesn’t want to sit down and watch life go by
#9 – His kisses.
#10 – His touch.
#11 – They way he looks at me from across the room when we have guests over
#12 – He likes to cook for people
#13 – He makes me want to be a better person
#14 – He gives me good books to read
#15 – He loves me like no one ever has an no one ever will on this earth
#16 – He is passionate about life and people
#17 – When he wants to, he can be a great listener
#18 – He doesn’t let me talk bad about myself
#19 – He eats healthy and when he’s in town I do too!
#20 – He wants to be more like Jesus in every way possible
#21 – He can make me laugh more than anyone else
#22 – He makes me feel safe.
#23 – I know he’ll never leave me.
#24 – He often brings me flowers when he grocery shops
#25 – He rarely complains about my magazine subscriptions
#26 – He rubs my head every night before we go to bed
#27 – I find notes from him after he goes out of town
#28 – He encourages me & is grateful for how I contribute to our family
#29 – I still get excited when he comes home from “work”

I love this man like no other and he loves me too. I love you, Aaron. I hope you feel better and can’t wait to see you!

want to change.

For a while now Aaron and I have been sensing God doing something in our lives. Sometimes I feel as though my life that I live now surely can not be how God intends for me to live. We live in a comfortable neighborhood, hardly have interatction with anyone that is poor, and have a house full of nice stuff. Sometimes I feel as though there has to be so much more to life than what we’re living.

Lots of things have been going on in our lives that are forcing us to step back, re-evaluate and make some changes. A few things recently that we’ve been thinking about …
* Since starting our adoption of Amos I can’t help but think of all the $ that is spent in America on STUPID stuff that could help my son and his country eat. (I’m not saying I don’t do this foolish spending too)
* I’ve been reading Irresistable Revolution by Shane Claiborne for a while now and it is challenging everything I have ever thought was right before. It has challenged my thinking on the poor. It has challenged my thinking on war. It has challenged my thinking on the death penalty. It has challenged my thinking of “the American dream”.
* I have an inward struggle about something of value in my life that I’m not as comfortable with anymore. I have told one person about this struggle. I don’t’ want people to think I’m a freak or feel as though I think they are bad for doing something that I will probably stop doing soon. It is about me and my journey. I hope to share soon about this. God is working on me big time with this.
* I do NOT want to do any gift giving for Christmas. I know this is extreme, but really, what does anyone in my family need? NOTHING. After viewing the people in Haiti and what they don’t have, what do I need to get anyone in my family that costs $20. NOTHING. I do not want anyone to buy me a gift. NOTHING. Aaron and I have never exchanged Christmas gifts, and last year was the first year the boys got anything. We just never want gift giving to be a big deal. NOT that we are against it, but we just don’t want to focus on it.
* I received a WORLD VISION gift catalog yesterday and think this is a great idea. You can donate to WV in someone’s name and give them that as a gift. For example: for $100 you can provide malaria prevention for five families, for $715 you can buy a bull for an entire community, for $50 you can provide safe water for a school. I think this is a great idea and I know I enjoy every year on my birthday getting the card from my mom that says what was given to WV through her gift to me.

I struggle with an inward battle. I want more stuff, but yet I want nothing. I want to be dressed in nice clothes, but yet I want to wear rags, I want to give it all away, but yet I’m constantly wanting more. I desire to get my hands dirty, but yet I keep my distance from the “dirt”.

Anyone else on this journey?

I miss Aaron because …

1. He makes dinner for me every night and the dinner I make is not good at all
2. He gets the kids ready for school on Tues & Thurs
3. He sings silly songs with the kids and they crack up
4. He wrestles with the boys every night before bed
5. He tells me he thinks I’m beautiful
6. He warms up my side of the bed before I get in
7. He makes coffee every morning for us
8. He watches Oprah with me
9. He cracks me up with his humor

I got a call from Laura tonight that she got a call from Jimmie to tell me that Aaron is sick tonight. I know that some of them are dealing with altitude sickness and he must be one of them. Pray for him and for him to get well real soon!

Also if you haven’t read his entry from yesterday when he met our sponsored child you MUST GO READ IT NOW – it is great.

my AMOS.

Tonight when I sat down after a long night I opened up my email and there they were! Two emails full of pictures from Licia. They made my night. His face is so bright and shiny. His smile is huge and his eyes are full of hope. He is such a joy and I can’t wait to meet him face to face in only 55 days. My love for him is growing so much each day.

I am always telling my boys that they are my two favorite boys in the whole wide world. I said this to them yesterday and Big Boy stopped me and said … BUT mom, what about Amos? …. His mind is always thinking of Amos too! I love that!

I would love to post the pictures, but for some reason my blog says I’m out of space and I need Aaron to help me! UNtil I can post themjust trust me … he is so cute!

Happy Birthday Deacon!

Today is my little boy’s birthday.  He is two today!  I can’t believe that two years ago today we were sitting in a hospital waiting room all day long waiting to hear that he had arrived.  Today I am so thankful for this little boy. He brings so much joy and happiness to our home.  I am constantly cracking up at him and he is constantly testing his boundaries too these days!!!

He is a great brother and him and Big Boy get along just great.  I am so excited for all of these brothers to get together.

Tonight I took the boys to Chuck E Cheese and we had a great time.  They loved it and we spent way too much money, hate some really bad food and played lots of games.

Each year on his birthday we are not only thankful for our son, but also for his first mom.  The mom that he had way before me.  The mom that carried him for 9 months.  The mom that placed him with us.  We are so happy to know her and love her so much as well.

love boys

I am loving my boys so much lately. They are so fun and crack me up! Here are some pictures of them recently ….

Big Boy was a cowboy today for their western themed party at school. He loved the whole outfit and kept asking for a real horse to ride.

Little Boy with his new “mohawk” haircut! He looks super cute with this new do. His teachers called him “Mr.T” today – it seems appropriate for the new look!

Gosh I love these smiles! My boys love their hats!

And to my sweet baby boy Amos who waits for us in Haiti. I long to hold you. I long to kiss your face. I long to lavish our love on you. I long for you to meet your brothers. I long to get you home. You are in my thoughts constantly and with everything I do I wonder what you are doing and how you would like to be with us. I love you so much. I think of you so often. You are a champion and a survivor.